Facing the darkness part 2
by lunerwerewolf
Summary: 6 months after his daughter's birth can a trip down memory lane help conrad find the curage to face his worst fear? warning posible lemon/lime. mentions of rape, posible flash backs.
1. Chapter 1

Day 715, 1300hrs

Conrad Weller sighed as he walked down the hall, cradling a squirming Ysolde in his arms. The six month old infant was the human equivalent of 3 months and was busy clapping her little hands together and squealing in delight. He tried not to laugh at the truly cute sight, and put a bit more of a bounce in his step as he made his way over to his mother's quarters. In a year's time his mother would be remarrying, and he couldn't be happier for her and Raven.

He'd taken to having tea with his mother every afternoon since a few months before Ysolde had come into the world. Over time there afternoon tea time had expanded to include Gwendal's wife Isabella, and his young son Finn, short for Arthur Finnly von Voltaire. Today he carried a small bag over one shoulder. He'd spoken with his mother earlier and she'd agreed to take Ysolde for the night, so he and Yozak could have some time alone. The bag was full of things Ysolde might need or want.

He was both looking forward to and dreading this evening.

He hadn't told Yozak about his plans yet – incase he couldn't go through with it.

He thought he was ready – ready to try the one thing he'd been the most terrified of since the night Ysolde was conceived. He just had to keep reminding himself that this was Yozak or he'd have bolted last night after making the arrangements with his mother.

He shifted Ysolde in his arms and carefully knocked on his mother's door. Issy answered it in place of his mother – who was currently otherwise occupied making funny faces at Finn. Conrart laughed at his mother's antics as he carefully set his daughter down on the rug with fin. She cooed and rolled over and pushed herself up onto her hands.

Idly he wondered when his baby would start to crawl - perhaps he'd ask his mother about that – she could already put some weight on her little legs when he held her up, but he didn't know how long it would be before his daughter could actually crawl or stand on his own.

Ysolde squealed in delight when her grandma scooped her up and blew a raspberry on her stomach. Conrad didn't even blink, the first time she'd done that he'd stared at her in surprise trying to remember his lady mother acting so undignified. He remembered some of the undignified things his mother had done when Wolfram was little, but nothing beyond that.

It was Raven who'd informed him that his mother had thrown dignity to the wind when all three of her children were small.

Funny how it was always Raven who'd been willing to tell him things, and set him straight – like when Stoffel had cruelly informed him that his mother had only married his father because the human had gotten her pregnant, and that she'd often told him how much she wished she wasn't pregnant with 'a dirty little half-breed'. It had been Raven who'd seen him crying, and after learning what Stoffel had told him had set about setting him strait. His parents had been married a year before he'd even been conceived. That had been 2 days after his father left in the middle of the night.

Raven had been very kind when he'd held him and explained how some men just had a wonder lust, an itch to travel to see the world. How his father had been one of those men. He'd gently explained a human's much shorter lifespan and how his father would soon be too old to travel, but that he knew the man cared deeply about him and his mother.

When he'd been young he'd had a problem with his mother's lovers, Wolfram's Father in particular. Many of them hadn't liked him, and he'd often felt that he _was _the reason his mother had never remarried.

He'd overheard Wolfram's father refusing to marry her over the 'half-breed disgrace' she refused to get rid of. He'd run away from home on three separate occasions, hoping his family would be happier without him. Gwendal had tracked him down once and given him the worst spanking of his life. The second time Raven had found him wandering less than an hour's ride outside of the city. The man had taken him home (and hadn't told his family about it) but most shockingly of all he'd been kind. He'd treated him like he was any other Mazoku child, when even his friends had started to treat him like the 'worthless half-breed whelp of the queen's'.

The third time he'd run away from home – Yozak had been the one to find him and convince him to go home. A good thing to since it had been snowing and his family hadn't been expecting him home till later– not one of his brighter moments.

But needless to say he had no problem with Raven marrying his mother. Actually he thought it was about time!

He smiled and hugged his mother when she stood up, before going over to help Issy prepare the tea. He chatted quite happily with his sister in law comparing stories and swapping parenting advice. It was nice that Isabella and Gwendal's son would be so close in age to his little girl. It took so long for male demons to be able to conceive for the first time that he doubted Wolfram and Yuri would be having children anytime soon – and he wouldn't be having another child for at least another seven years.

It wasn't that he didn't want more children now; it was just an odd truth about the Mazoku. Unlike human women who could apparently conceive almost immediately after giving birth the Mazoku body shut down reproductively after child birth for seven years.

This was because a Mazoku child wasn't the Human Equivalent of 2.5 until they were nearly 6.

He made his way back to the sofa carefully carrying two cups of tea, his own and his mothers.

~~~***~~~

Day 715, 1630 hrs

~~~***~~~

Conrad sat on his mother's sofa more than an hour after Issy and Finn left holding his daughter so that while he was supporting her weight her little feet touched the floor and she looked as if she was standing up.

He was halving trouble bringing himself to leave. He loved his husband, trusted his husband, and wanted to be intimate with his husband again. At the same time however, he was very well aware of how brutally agonizing Ysolde's conception had been! He wanted to feel Yozak inside of him, filling him, physically loving him – but at the same time he was terrified of that pain.

The night his daughter had been conceived he'd felt like he was being ripped apart from the inside. He felt sick just thinking about it – and he still occasionally had terrible nightmares about that horrible event.

Not to mention the flashbacks -which usually ended with Yozak having to coax him back out of a corner or once out from under the bed.

He hadn't had a flashback in more than 7 months now and he was determined to get his life back!

He knew Yozak would never hurt him.

But still, he couldn't help being scared.

He didn't jump when his mother set her hand on his shoulder. He hadn't in nearly 10 months.

Baby steps

Yozak assured him he would eventually heal if he was just patient and just took baby steps.

He just wanted to be normal again.

He was sick of the fear!

Damn Aisen for taking away his sense of safety and security.

Damn him to hell!

"Yozak loves you, and he knows how scared you are. If you're ready, he'll be gentle. If you're not he'll understand, and he won't push you any further then you're ready and willing to go. You were raped, honey, you can't change that – but you can move on, and you can heal." Lady Cecilia told him gently as she took his daughter and cradled her in her arms. "Yozak understands that; go spend the night with your husband. He won't hurt you; he loves you far too much."

Conrad nodded, rose quietly to his feet, kissed his little girl on the forehead, and softly thanked his mother for both her advice and for babysitting and left.

As he walked down the corridors to his own quarters he couldn't help thinking about the circumstances that had brought him here. Aisen had brutally raped him a little under 2 years ago, and then proceeded to mentally abuse him for 3.5 months before Yozak had returned home from a mission. His then best friend and lover had rescued him from an argument gone bad and later saved him again when Aisen got tired of waiting for him to 'do the honorable thing' (marry him) and tried to kidnap him. After Aisen's very public trial the rumor and gossip mills had run rampant. Until finally he couldn't leave his rooms at all, without all conversation stopping the second he entered a room and whispers taking the place of conversation as he passed. Finally after a few weeks Yozak had put his foot down and taken him away from the capital city, to some place more secluded so that he could heal in peace.

It was the time spent there that had led up to him marrying Yozak, and his husband's very public and very formal adoption of Ysolde. Under the law, and in the eyes of their family, Yozak was Ysolde's father. Nothing would ever change that.

As he walked he allowed himself to remember those terrible and very tender months.

~~~***~~~

A.N. read and review


	2. Chapter 2

Yozak Gurrier awoke with a jerk at the sound of his bedmate's terrified shrieks. It took him a moment to work out the where and the whys of his still half-sleep friend's terror. But once he did he backed off. He'd unintentionally rolled over in his sleep and wrapped his arm around the smaller man's slim hips. Conrart had reacted to the unexpected contact in a manor typical of a rape victim – hence his panic. Not that Yozak could blame him; he _had_ been raped a little over 5.5 months ago.

Aisen's trial a little over 5 weeks ago was not helping matters.

For the most part Conrart remembered Aisen's brutal assault, but there were still holes in his memory. Having those holes filled by way of Aisen's Journal, which was full of horrible details of how much the bastard had enjoyed Conrart's cries of pain, had not been good for him.

Not at all!

Conrart still had horrible nightmares, and now he also had to deal with things he only half remembered, that were already so jumbled in his mind that he sometimes couldn't keep it all straight. He wasn't sleeping through the night, and had been reduced to awakening at the slightest noise - even if it was only the wind against his shutters.

Yozak kept up a steady stream of babble, letting Conrart know he was okay, even as the other man screamed, panicked and begged him to stop hurting him.

Not for the first time, he felt the urge to track that bastard down and kill him.

Slowly

Painfully

Kill him

He pulled Conrart into his arms, careful not to restrain him at all, whispering to him until he finally calmed. At one point he worried that Conrad would rip one or more of his nails off – again - clawing at the heavy arm guard Yozak had taken to wearing after the first time Conrad had had a flashback. He was so absorbed in calming his mate that he didn't realize they were no longer alone until someone spoke.

He jumped and looked up at Raf, the owner of the little inn they were currently staying in.

Two weeks ago he'd spoken with Gwendal and Lady Cecilia, and arranged to have Conrart moved to a disused, but still well maintained hunting cabin on Weller lands, so that he could heal in peace.

They'd be there sometime tomorrow.

Well today actually.

Before they'd left, it had gotten to the point that Conrart couldn't even, enter a room without all conversation ceasing, only to start again in hushed whispered tones once he'd passed by. The palace rumor mill was still as strong as ever. That coupled with the growing gossip ring combined to make healing very difficult for Conrad.

Hence there trip.

Conrad needed to get away from everything; he just wasn't coping well with the emotional stress and general upheaval that Aisen had created out of his once neat and orderly life. His stress levels had been so bad the night of the trial that Conrart had gotten stuck in a flashback and – to Yozak's great surprise and Conrad's utter humiliation – he'd wet the bed.

He'd done it twice more before Yozak had asked for and been granted permission to take him away from the palace.

In addition to three times more since they left the palace behind

Each time, he'd been screaming loud enough to wake the dead, and begging for the brutality to stop.

Thankfully it didn't look like he was going to have _that _problem this time!

"W'at in the 'ell, be ye doing ta yon boy?" the burly old man demanded.

Yozak repressed the urge to groan, "It's nothing go back to sleep."

"Not'ing 'e says, go back ta, sleep 'e says. Forgets 'is friend, be putting up a racket fit ta wake the dead!" Raf grumbled.

Something purely primal in nature growled at his tone of voice. "He's been having night terrors of late," Yozak informed the man sharply. "He can't help it. Go back to sleep so I can get him quieted."

Raf sighed, "I'll be leaving laddie, but I'll naug't be goin' far – ya 'ere? Just down t'em stares. Once ya get t'at one quieted ya come see me boy. Convince me I s'ould na be sending for the s'eriff, ta do somet'ing bout t'at t'ere crazy boy."

With that he was gone taking with him a crowd of people.

Yozak muttered something under his breath about crotchety old fools and went back to quieting Conrart.

~~~***~~~

Quietly he made his way down the stairs, Conrad had fallen back asleep a short time ago and Yozak was worried about leaving him alone. In addition to that he was apprehensive about this meeting with Raf – couldn't the man be like every other innkeeper they'd met so far, and simply call Conrad something along the lines of 'poor little lost lamb' or 'poor deer' and get the hell over the fact that the man was having a nightmare in one of his rooms?

His annoyance with Raf, doubled and doubled again the second he saw the men waiting with him.

The sheriff and a healer, both looking tired and wary, but their eyes were firm.

That primal being lurking inside of him snarled at the sight of them, urging him to draw his sword and defend his mate. He shook it off, and simply added Raf to his list of people whose lives he was going to make miserable.

"Okay boy, convince me an' t'ese men t'at ye friend up t'ere be not insane and t'us be not a danger ta me an' mine t'at should be locked away." Raf said simply.

Yozak curled his lip and snarled. "Watch it, that's my mate you're talking about!" then in quieter tones he added. "He's not dangerous, nor is he crazy; he's simply been through a very traumatic event. I'm taking him somewhere where he can heal in peace, that's all you really need to know!"

It took him the better part of an hour to explain the situation to the healer's liking, but eventually both men left him alone with Raf. Disgusted with the man he turned and went back upstairs to Conrart.

Only to find him sitting up in bed, hugging his knees

Yozak suppressed the urge to sigh, Conrad was so very fragile right now – and it broke his heart. Carefully he settled himself down beside the smaller man and drew him into his arms. Conrad flinched but he didn't pull away. In fact to Yozak's amazement he snuggled closer, burying his face in his shoulder.

Yozak held him gently carding a hand through his brown hair, and let him sob. "Easy," he whispered, "Easy, you're alright. I've got you, you're safe. It's okay, go ahead and cry, drown me if you like, I know how to swim."

Finally Conrart calmed down and stopped crying, though he was still shaking. "Sorry," he whispered.

Yozak smiled at him. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he reminded him gently. "You haven't done anything wrong."

He couldn't help smiling softly when Conrad attempted to hide a yawn. "Get some sleep; you look like you could use it. Don't worry – nothing will hurt you while I'm here."

Yozak watched quietly as Conrad settled himself back down among the pillows, untangled the blankets and tugged them up. The smaller man paused briefly then asked, "Will you hold me?" In a small voice.

He settled himself down on his side and drew his friend into his arms.

~~~***~~~

Yozak awoke, half hard, to the feeling of Conrart wiggling against him. He cursed and tried to think of something completely non-arousing, as his friend shifted, simultaneously trying to get comfortable and melt further into his warmth.

Gwendal in a Tutu!

No he wanted non-arousing, not mentally scaring!

Latrines,

Dirty

Over flowing

Public

Latrines!

That worked.

~~~***~~~

Conrad kept his eyes on his breakfast trying not to wonder how many of the blurry eyed inn patrons had heard his screaming fit last night.

He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole!

This was so humiliating.

But at least this time he hadn't been forced to sit off to one side, watching while Yozak remade the bed.

~~~***~~~

He'd lost track of time a while ago. And he refused to look out the window to see where they were or what time it was. Every time they passed a village, people would stop and stare. On an intellectual level he knew the people were only interested in the highly unusual sight of a carriage going by. In the many, many years since he'd become 'Lord Weller' he'd visited his estate at least once a year to see to the needs of his people and see to the land's upkeep. But his visits had always been conducted in quiet.

He'd always preferred to ride his horse rather than in a carriage.

So it was little wonder that they were attracting so much attention now. But still –

He couldn't help feeling like they could all see the filth covering him.

He was filthy

No matter what Yozak said.

He was soiled.

Dirty

Beyond repair

And beyond redemption

He'd considered killing himself – ending his taint. He'd come pretty close to it to.

But then he'd found out he was pregnant.

He may have been covered in its father's filth.

To dirty to ever be redeemed again

But the child – it deserved a chance.

It was pure, untouched by either of its parent's filth.

Every time he thought of ending his filthy life – he thought of that and he fought for his child. She meant everything to him and he already couldn't wait to meet her.

He shifted trying to shake melancholy thoughts from his mind, and before he really knew what was happening he was asleep.

~~~***~~~

Yozak shifted slightly, trying not to wake his friend. Conrart had fallen asleep several hours ago, curled up on his side with his head pillowed on Yozak's thigh. Yozak sighed and forced himself to remain still despite the fact that his leg was now officially asleep. He ran his hand gently through Conrart's hair. Judging by the changing scenery in the window, he knew they'd arrive at the little hunting cabin, deep in the heart of Weller lands within the hour.

Two weeks had passed since he'd told Gwendal and Lady Cecilia about his plan to move Conrart somewhere quieter so that he could heal in peace. At first both mother and older brother had refused, arguing against Conrad leaving the protection and safety his family could provide. After awhile he'd been forced to point out just how unhelpful Conrad's current environment had been, in fact the busy nature of the palace had only been a hindrances. And the rampant rumors and the gossip of both the people who'd pitied him and the people who'd questioned his ability to protect the king after this, had been very detrimental to Conrad's already battered self-esteem.

After that gaining their permission hadn't been too difficult

He'd then sent word to one of the villagers who lived just beyond the hunting cabin asking for help in assuring that it was fit for habitation. Lex was an old friend, someone he'd met long ago. Before he'd even met Conrart or his father, Lex had been his friend back in that damned village in big Shimaron.

He'd sent the man and his family a pigeon, explaining that he'd been granted permission to bring his pregnant friend to the cabin for a few months.

He knew they didn't expect that friend to be Conrart himself. While gossip and rumor flew fast around the capital, it moved at a snail's pace beyond it.

And it wasn't that unusual, a situation.

Conrad had a habit of sending his men to that cabin or his hunting lodge for well earned breaks. He was mildly amused by the return message assuring him that the Cabin was fit for habitation again, and informing him that they couldn't wait to met his 'special someone'.

It didn't matter one way or another.

Once his people learned it was Conrart, their lord, who was with child – Yozak knew they would close ranks around him.

Conrad was loved by the people who lived on the relatively small amount of land he governed.

He was brought out of his thoughts when the carriage came to a halt, he smiled as he glanced out the window, they'd arrived – and there was a small entourage waiting for them just outside of the cabin. He recognized Alex by his cobalt blue hair. the young boy standing between him and his wife could only by his son Kayden. He'd heard of the boy, but this was the first time he'd actually seen the boy.

The boy had his mother's charcoal gray hair.

Yozak smiled at the sight of them, before turning his attention back to the sleeping man currently using him as a pillow. Gently he shook Conrad's shoulder, to rouse him from his slumber.

Conrad came awake at once his eyes wide with terror, before he relaxed. "What time is it?" he asked his voice slurred by a half-suppressed yawn.

"An hour or two till dinner time," Yozak replied with a small smile. "Depends on how long it takes me to catch dinner in the lake out back, and what supplies we have available."

"Why do you have to catch dinner, I thought we were staying at another inn tonight?"

Yozak chuckled lightly. "No honey, we're just got to the cabin. We won't be staying in any inns until we make the trip home." He gently grabbed Conrart by the shoulders and hoisted him to his feet. "Come on love, let's get you inside. Are you craving anything?"

Conrad shook his head, "nothing you can actually get me."

"Why do you say that?" Yozak asked arching a brow.

"Because the only place I know of where you can get a Philly- Cheese-steak-sandwich is on earth." Conrad replied leaning up against him.

Yozak blinked, "Yes, I guess that does pose a problem." He replied then added, "But tell me what it's made of and I'll see what I can do."


	3. Chapter 3

Yozak smiled as he set down the bundle of supplies he was holding. Conrad sat on the edge of the floating dock, gazing out across the lake, watching the dragonflies dancing across the crystal clear waters. In one hand he held an embroidery hoop, a soft white fabric pooling in his lap, a needle held delicately in his other hand.

It was almost funny, before any of this had happened, before he'd come home to find his mate raped and carrying the child of his assailant, it had been years, decades actually, since Conrad had even picked up a needle to do anything more complicated then fixing his shirt or sowing his own hide closed.

Let alone embroidered anything.

In truth he'd almost forgotten that Conrart could even embroider.

His breath caught in his throat when Conrad turned his attention back to the delicate work in his hands, the light catching on his beautiful hair setting golden and red highlights ablaze. Conrart was so beautiful in the afternoon sunlight – under different circumstances he'd likely have gone skinny dipping with his smaller lover, and they likely would have ended the day either by making love in the water or on the shore.

Now, he pushed the erotic thoughts of what he wished he could do to Conrart out of his mind, waited just long enough for his excitement to melt away, picked back up his supplies and carefully made his way out onto the dock.

"Hay" Yozak said quietly as he settled himself down beside Conrart.

Conrart glanced up at him, and smiled slightly. "hay," he replied softly, then added, "it's a beautiful day."

"Yes it is, and a beautiful scene to," Yozak said simply gesturing out at the lake with its seemingly dancing dragonflies. He'd noticed that Conrad was attempting to capture the beauty of nature in fabric, and thread.

Conrad's beautiful smile graced his lips again briefly as he looked down at the bit of artwork in his lap. "I – I thought it would look good on her bedroom wall." He paused bighting his lip bottom lip in an old nervous habit Yozak hadn't seen in years. Then in a small voice he asked. "When we get home, will you help me turn my office into a nursery?"

Yozak blinked, plastered a smile on his face and lied through his teeth, because he knew it would make Conrad happy. "Of course I will."

He hadn't told Conrart that he and Gwendal had talked and if the King approved they'd be moving Conrad's out of his rooms into a bigger suite of rooms. His new quarters would have the added security of being inside the palace's royal wing, under high security. They would also be closer to the rest of his family. He was lying because if he was right and Yuri approved their plan, when he got home he would be helping Conrad to decorate the nursery in his new quarters. He'd spoken with both Gwendal and lady Cecilia, and had talked them into getting Conrad quarters with a few extra rooms. He still hoped that maybe once Conrart had healed enough, he might be able to court Conrad, to be a father to his child and to possibly to have more children with the man he loved. If Aisen had hurt Conrart to the point that he was never comfortable again, then he was more than willing to just be a friend and an honorary uncle to Conrad's child, and he would help Conrad covert the extra rooms into a playroom and a library.

"Thank you," Conrad replied quietly, turning his attention back to the embroidery in his hands.

Yozak smiled sadly, and then liberated a small block of cheery wood, and a small knife from the bundle at his feet and set about carving. Carefully, painstakingly he freed a small running fox from the wood, making sure to craft a small loop out of the carved fur at the base its neck. He smiled at the little thing and set it down on its four carved paws, before picking up a small block of oak and starting on a small rampant lion – though he was careful to keep the animal's mouth closed. He doubted Conrad's child would appreciate sharp teeth, glaring at it from the baby-mobile he was carefully crafting. He wasn't sure what to add to it beyond the little fox and the lion, he was considering adding a small cute rendition of a dragon. The adults were after all breathtaking, but the babies – they were just plain adorable.

"What are you making," Conrad asked, his quiet voice laced with curiosity.

Yozak glanced up from his work, a genuine smile gracing his lips. Over the past couple of months he hadn't seen much of his Conrart, but he could see him in Conrad's curiosity. he'd seen brief flashes of the strong and proud man he'd fallen in love with upon occasion since Aisen's trial, but they were still few and far between.

"A baby mobile," he replied softly. "I figured it could hang over the baby's cradle, give the little one something to look at."

~~~***~~~

Conrad smiled as he wandered through the village with Yozak. it was a market day, all of the villagers had gathered to sell things, farm made goods, food staff, knitted goods – things like that. They were up here buying supplies. Yozak had one arm wrapped around his waist, they both carried a basket on one arm. In some ways it was strange, with Yozak's arm wrapped around him he felt comfortable and safe, despite the press of people.

He paused briefly and examined some of the produce, before handing the vendor what he was asking for the fresh peaches. He knew Yozak wanted him to eat what he was craving and lately he'd been craving peaches. He stuck six of the peaches into his basket, handed one to Yozak and bit into another one. They continued to walk down the street, side by side.

The picture of domestic bliss

"Are you sure you're alright? Last night was pretty bad." Yozak inquired.

Conrad paused briefly, and then continued forward. He knew Yozak was referring to last night's nightmares. He lowered his head slightly. "I'm fine," he replied quietly, "Just a little shaken."

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Yozak asked gently tugging him closer to his side. "I'll never turn away from you."

Conrad nodded. In the two weeks since they'd arrived at the cabin, he'd finally begun to relax. But he was still very, very scared. Sometimes, in his dreams he relived the worst night of his life in horrifying detail. There were days when all he could do was cling to Yozak, and days where he just wanted to be left alone. Yozak had endured his changing moods and been there for him when he needed a shoulder to cry on. The man had been perfect and kind and gentle, but he was still terrified.

In some ways Yozak was his best friend and the love of his life, someone he trusted with his life.

But in other ways Yozak, was a threat. He was a fully grown sexually active male, and at the moment something to be feared.

It was odd just a year ago, the thought of Yozak taking him for a roll in the hay would have excited him to no end. Now the mere thought of sex reminded him of the agony he'd suffered at Aisen's hand, and the thought of potentially reliving it, no matter how slim – scared the hell out of him.

For a while they walked in complete silence.

"Yozak?" he asked after the silence had stretched for a few minutes. "Can we talk, tonight?"

Yozak inclined his head, "of course. We'll talk after dinner."

~~~***~~~

Yozak watched Conrad quietly as he ate his dinner - Rabbit with, rice, sautéed onions, asparagus and other assorted veggies. He was worried, Conrad was slowly picking at his food. Other then the peach he'd eaten earlier, the man had never been a fussy eater, but today he seemed to preoccupied and worried by their upcoming conversation to eat.

What could he have to say that had him this worried?

"You should eat something Conrart. Both you and the baby need it."

~~~***~~~

Conrad pulled the blanket Yozak had draped over his shoulder closer to his body – he didn't know how to start this conversation. They were currently sitting in front of a fire that crackled in the hearth. They'd sat here for an hour or two every night before making their way to bed. Most nights Yozak slept in bed with him – carefully not touching him unless he first asked for that touch. Other nights, Conrad simply couldn't abide Yozak's presence and the poor man had to sleep in another room.

Finally after nearly half an hour of silence he spoke.

"I'm scared," he said at last. "I, I'm also humiliated by how I've been acting, and by wetting the bed and just everything in general. I remember some of the things Aisen did, and the mere thought of even being in the same room with another man terrifies me some times. The thought of s-se-sex, makes me want to wet myself. What he did – it didn't just hurt. It wasn't just sex, I – I don't know h-how to explain. I hurt Yozak, I still hurt! It's been more than 6 months, and I can still feel his hands on my body, still smell his breath and feel him t-te-tearing me… hurting me. When it first happened I – I just wanted to die! I – I had c-considered how to, and I – I was going to end my own filth, but then I found out about my children and I couldn't. I had to live – for them I had to. They gave me the strength to look in the mirror. When i thought I'd lost them I – I wanted to join them, but I – I still have the one and I need to do what is right by my child. I-I know I'm filthy. That I can never be clean again, that I'll never be worthy of you or anyone again, but you, you haven't left and you've been kind and gentle, and gallant, and, and damnit Yozak why? Why are you still here you should be… somewhere else… finding someone who's worthy of you. Somebody who's not so covered in filth that they can never be clean again."

Yozak's answer was to wrap him in his arms, and pull him against his chest. "I'm not leaving because I love you. You're not filthy, and I know you still hurt. It will take time Conrad, but you will heal, and I will be at your side every step of the way. If you want me to leave then, I will. I know you're scared, and I know there are times when I scare you just because of what I represent, but I swear to you I will never hurt you, and if you are never able to be intimate again – I understand and respect that. If you never feel comfortable with a relationship again, then I will stand beside you as your best friend rather than your lover. But I am not going to abandon you." He paused briefly then added, "And I'm glad, very, very, glad you didn't commit suicide. I love you and I'll be right beside you when you need me. If you can't walk this path on your own, I'll do my best to carry you. It will take time, but we will get you past this. I promise."

Conrad couldn't stop the tears running down his cheeks, so he hid his face in Yozak's strong chest and wept he was so very confused.

~~~***~~~

Not long after Conrart's confession and His own answer Yozak, scooped a sleeping Conrart up into his arms and made his way into the bedroom. Carefully gently he put his friend to bed, pulling his boots and jacket off but leaving him otherwise fully dressed. He pulled the covers up around the smaller man, tugged off his own boots and curled up beside him.

Only time would tell how long it took Conrad to fully recover. But Yozak truly did intend to be at his friend's side every step of the way. With a sigh he picked up one of the books on male pregnancies Gisela gave him before they left and began to read.

~~~***~~~

Ok another chapter done read and review please. If you have questions ask them I can't answer them if I don't know what they are. Remember Conrad is going through a very difficult time, but don't worry you'll see the Conrad we all love again soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Day 207, 0500hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak glanced over at his sleeping friend, there was less than an hour till dawn, and Conrart was miraculously still asleep. If the other man made it just one more hour it would be the first time in more than 6 months that Conrad slept through the night. Smiling slightly at this breakthrough he turned his attention back to the book he was reading – truthfully some of the details of male pregnancy intrigued him while others outright scared him.

According to the book in the seventh month of his pregnancy Conrad's hormones were going to get so out of control that the man would become very easily aroused. Apparently the slightest brush of skin on skin or even clothing on skin would be enough to make him painfully hard. The book cautioned the 'soon to be father' to remember that sex was prohibited in male pregnancies because of the health risks to both the 'mother' and the unborn child. However it suggested alternative methods of satisfying, and relieving their pregnant mate's 'problem' – mainly massages, caresses, and a variety of other things that didn't involve penetration.

Under normal circumstances, if he'd actually sired the child he would have had no problem doing as the book suggested – but right now he was keenly aware of the fact that in a few weeks time he was going to have to deal with the fact that Conrart was going to be aroused and thanks to Aisen's abuse – likely terrified.

Right now Conrad wasn't just his pregnant mate

He was also a victim of a traumatic and brutal rape.

Somehow he doubted Conrart would let him even attempt any of the things the book suggested as a way to 'offer release'.

His attention was drawn back to his friend by a soft sound and the feeling of Conrad curling up against his side. he gazed sadly down at his beloved mate – wondering just how he was going to get the other man through the incredibly rough times ahead of them. Conrad was in his 6th month, the equivalent of a human in their 3rd month he was only just beginning to truly show. He'd only gained about 3.5 pounds most of that before Aisen's stunt had killed the larger of the two twins he'd been carrying. For obvious reasons Conrart's growth rate had slowed a bit. In some ways it looked like Conrart had a slowly filling waterskin under his shirt.

He was far from obviously pregnant, but Yozak knew him well enough that to him the little changes that even Gwendal and Lady Cecilia had missed where blatantly obvious. He yearned to gently carress his friend's stomach, to rest his cheek against the man and see if he could feel the child kicking – even though he knew that wouldn't be happing for a while yet.

Abruptly Conrart whimpered.

"No, stop, please … it hurts." He whimpered.

Yozak could feel him trembling – despite his earlier decision not to touch Conrart in bed, he reached out and gently shook Conrad's shoulder. 45 minutes longer and Conrad would have made it through the night.

But it wasn't to be

Not this time.

Conrad came awake all at once, sitting bolt upright in bed, his eyes darting around in a frantic bid to find his attacker before he finally collapsed against Yozak, and buried his face in his hands. Yozak wrapped an arm around the other man's shoulders and held him till the trembling stopped. Calmly he whispered soothing words of love and comfort.

Finally Conrad stopped shaking.

"You going to be okay?" Yozak asked quietly.

Conrad nodded. "I'll be fine, thank you."

~~~***~~~

Day 209, 1200hrs

~~~***~~~

Where are we going?" Conrart asked for the 12th time in the last 20 minutes.

Again Yozak simply replied "You'll see."

Conrad sighed and settled himself back in the row boat, and resigned himself to being patient. He glanced down at the picnic basket that lay at his feet, wondering what Yozak had made, where and when exactly they would actually be eating.

At the risk of sounding like a whiny child … he was hungry now.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity to the hungry pregnant person, Yozak tied the boat to the small dock on the other end of the lake and carefully helped him up out of the boat. They walked together for another 25minutes, discussing simple things, the weather, and the glorious end to his morning sickness.

"What do you think of Elisa?" Conrad asked abruptly.

Yozak blinked at the apparent abrupt change in topic. "Who's Elisa?"

Conrart snorted "I mean as a name, for the baby."

"It's a beautiful name," Yozak replied mildly.

"But -" Conrart asked sensing something else his friend wasn't saying.

Yozak sighed, "I've just never heard the name before, I was wondering where it originates."

Conrad glanced down, "It's from earth, Hebrew actually."

"Not that I disagree with it, but why a name from one of the earth's tribes?" Yozak inquired as he set out a blanket in the middle a beautiful meadow.

Conrart settled himself down, carefully before answering. "It can't remind me of the child's father."

"Are you still, afraid the child will remind you of that bastard?" Yozak asked as he passed Conrart a sandwich. At Conrart's nod he continued. "You will love your child no matter what she looks like and despite who sired her. Have a little faith in yourself Conrad. You're a great man."

Conrad smiled slightly. "Thank you. Out of curiosity, what would you name your daughter?"

Yozak laughed, "If I ever have any daughters I'd name one of them Ysolde."

"Ysolde?" Conrart asked curiously. "Why Ysolde, it's a beautiful name, but it's also very, very old – not to mention it's a human name. where did you ever hear it?"

Yozak smiled. "It was my mother's name. Before that it apparently belonged to my great, great, grandmother's."

"It's a lovely way to honor your mother." Conrad replied, glancing down. "Someday you'll met some woman, or some man, and be a great husband to them, and I'm sure you'd be a great father as well." He added after a second. Much as he wanted to believe Yozak would still have him after this. He wasn't stupid – he knew the chances of anyone standing by him through this as a lover was slim.

Yozak was a great man – he deserved someone who was clean, someone who'd only ever given their body to him. Certainly someone who would never cheat on him, never violate his trust as completely as he had that night.

He was filthy, completely and utterly filthy.

And he knew it.

"What makes you think I haven't already found the person I want to have a life with?" Yozak inquired his voice gentle. "We've been together since we were brats – you're not getting rid of me that easily."

Conrad stared down at his lap, and didn't answer for a minute. "You say that now but eventually you'll find someone worthy of you –"

Yozak was up and at Conrad's side before the smaller man could even finish putting his thoughts to words. He didn't hesitate; carefully he pulled Conrad into his lap. "You did nothing wrong!" He said gently but firmly. "Rape is _Never _the victims fault. This was Aisen's crime not yours. I'm going to keep telling you that until you believe it – and I don't care how long it takes."

~~~***~~~

Day 209, 1400hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak shifted slightly, he lay spooned against Conrart, his friend's head resting on his arm. He had one arm wrapped lightly around Conrart's body, so that his hand rested lightly on the slight but ever growing 'bulge' of his once hard and well muscled stomach. He could feel the slight drain of his energy as the child siphoned it off. The drain was a lot stronger now than it had been just a few short weeks ago. It was a good sign.

A very good sign that the baby was growing stronger; and that both mother and child where healing.

"Hay in there, little one;" He whispered trying not to wake his sleeping best friend. "Its uncle Yozak again, you need to stay strong, alright, your mother needs you – and so do I. I love you both so much, and I can't wait to meet you."

He did this as often as Conrart would let him; there were days where Conrad wouldn't even let him within a six-foot of him. By the end of those days – he was exhausted by the drain on his body, and usually shivering with cold and dead on his feet. The sight of Conrad in that condition – honestly it terrified him.

Conrad was the strongest man he knew, and yet there were days when Conrad was reduced to a sobbing mess, and days where he just couldn't stand to be touched.

To nights ago – he'd been forced to spend a few hours coaxing Conrad out of a corner.

He'd been terrified for his friend.

But now – now it almost seemed like it had all been nothing more than a bad dream. If it wasn't for that small drain on his energies, he could almost believe that Conrad hadn't been raped, that they were simply enjoying a lovely afternoon in their meadow in the forest behind Covenant Castle.

He shifted again, and closed his eyes – when Conrart awoke from his nap – they'd head back to the log cabin.

~~~***~~~

Day 210, 2456hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak dropped to his knees beside the bed. Making soothing noises as he went to his stomach and attempted to shimmy under the bed. Conrad screamed in terror and he backed off immediately. Giving his terrified friend space, honestly he had no idea how Conrart had even gotten under there in the first place. He'd awoken to Conrad's scream, and the next second Conrad was under the bed – cowering in the corner made by the wall and the nightstand.

His legs clamped together, whimpering and bighting down on his lip so hard he'd drawn blood. Even at this distance he could see Conrart shaking. His hand between his legs, tears streaming down his face, as the man fought what was probably the worst flashback he'd ever had. The sharp scent of urine assaulted his nose, and he wondered idly if Conrad had wet the bed – or simply his pants. Then he dismissed it as irrelevant – Conrad needed him to be strong.

He whispered soothing words, in as gentle a tone as he could possibly manage. He repeated the same mantra over and over again, trying desperately to calm Conrart down. He needed to get him out from under the bed, and he needed to do it quickly. "I'm here." He whispered. "I won't hurt you." "I love you." "You're safe." "No one can hurt you here." "Its okay" "Come out, it's safe." "There's no one here but me." He repeated the same words over and over again until finally after two hours, Conrad crawled out from under the bed. He opened his arms – slowly – and Conrad fell into them shaking violently and sobbing hysterically.

Until he fell asleep again

Yozak hesitated, not sure what to do – then he carefully pulled Conrad's pants and underwear off. Gently he cleaned him up before checking the bed. That done he settled Conrad back into bed and pulled the covers up around him again before curling up with him pillowed against his chest, and wrapped protectively in his arms.

"Welcome to the seventh month of your pregnancy." He whispered as he soothed Conrart's hair away from his tear-stained-eyes.

_Hopefully sometime in the next 11 months Conrad would have healed enough for episodes like this to be a thing of the past._

Looking down at his sleeping mate Yozak resolved to marry him – if he was willing – as soon as Conrad had healed enough. It would take time but he knew Conrart was strong enough to overcome this. He believed that with all of his heart.

Conrad was remembering more and more of what had happened that night - filling in the holes in his memories – matching up things he actually remembered with things he'd learned from Aisen's journal.

If this was how badly Conrart was taking some of the revelations in that thing – Yozak was very, very glad, they had only read bits and pieces of that peace of shit at the trial.

Yozak had read it.

He'd thrown up a grand total of 6 times, and been reduced to tears on several occasions – but he had read the journals through cover to cover, from the day Aisen had joined Conrart's unit to the very last entry – partly out of morbidity, partly out of a need to see what that bastard had done to his mate. But mostly because how could he possibly hope to fix this – to even know what Conrart was going through – if he didn't know what that bastard had done.

There were things in there that he prayed Conrad _NEVER _remembered.

He was broken enough as it was without knowing them.

He didn't know what Conrart had remembered this time, but he completely understood why Conrart had … reacted the way he did.

~~~***~~~

A.N. Conrad is remembering more and more about his assault and His hormones are all over the place so that's why he's reacting worse now than he was before, don't worry things will start to get better soon. READ AND REVIEW please. Ask questions if you have them. It gives my muse a kick in the pants.


	5. Chapter 5

~~~***~~~

Day 217 , 1200hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak sighed as he watched Conrad. His friend was wandering slowly through the village streets. The poor man was drunk with fatigue and staggering slightly. In the week that had passed since Conrart's last and rather horrific flashback he'd grown distant, flat out refusing to allow Yozak within 3 feet of him. As such actually being able to touch him was completely out of the question, and while he wasn't –exactly – banished to the couch, he might as well be. Conrart had spent the first three days after his flashback sleeping curled up on his side on the very edge of the bed.

After that – he'd banished himself to the couch. Something had changed – he wasn't sure what, but now Conrad flinched away from him. cowering away from his touch as if afraid of being hurt.

So in the interest of his friend's mental and physical health – he'd taken up residence on the couch. He kept trying to engage Conrad in conversation hoping to bring the man out of his shell and find out what had changed. However Conrad's responses had consisted only of small nods, shakes of the head and soft barely audible noises.

Yozak slipped effortlessly from one shadow to another, careful not to attract anyone's attention. He followed Conrart at a distance as the man made the trek to the village healer's. it wasn't anything horrible – just his monthly check up. Still Yozak wanted to be there. He would be there – even if it meant, laying on his stomach on a thatched roof and eavesdropping!

~~~***~~~

Day 217, 1215hrs

~~~***~~~

Emma looked at the young man in front of her.

And she stressed the young part!

He couldn't have seen more than a century – give or take a couple of decades. He had to be the human equivalent of 20 – if that. She knew who and what he was, had the moment she'd first seen him walking through the village with Yozak. when her husband had first told her that Yozak was going to be spending a few well deserved months up at the small hunting cabin.

She'd been amused.

When she'd learned the man would be accompanied by a pregnant friend – she'd wondered when the wedding was going to be. After all Yozak wasn't the type to get someone pregnant and not take responsibility for it.

When she'd seen Yozak and his 'friend' arriving in a carrage she'd assumed it was nothing more then the kindness of Yozak's friend – lord Conrart Weller. However when she'd witnessed Yozak helping an exhausted lord Weller out of the carriage – she hadn't known what to think –once it became apparent that 'lord Weller' was Yozak's 'pregnant friend' she'd dismissed her theory of said friend being more than a friend. Still she'd wondered where the young lord's mate was, and why they hadn't heard news of his marriage.

That is until she noticed Yozak's rather distinctive behavior. The young half demon was 'mate guarding' he was jealously guarding his mate, keeping himself between Conrart and anything that could be considered even potentially dangerous.

She'd realized the truth while she watched her husband's friend settle the young lord on the sofa – fussing over everything from the pillows to the blanket he insisted on wrapping around Conrad's slim shoulders.

Yozak had then proceeded to question about exactly what he wanted to eat. The man had spent the rest of the time they'd been at the cabin hovering over his mate.

Conrad Weller was a very young lord, but he was also a very honorable and well respected man. So she honestly couldn't understand how he'd managed to get himself pregnant out of wedlock. Nothing against Yozak but it just didn't seem like Conrad would be the type to sleep around before marriage. But then if Yozak was displaying the classic symptoms of mate guarding then there was no deigning the fact that Conrad had been a virgin the first time he'd come to Yozak's bed, and that that night had been more then30 years ago, and it hadn't been the only time either.

She'd been surprised by just how tired Conrad had seemed and how much of a toll the pregnancy was taking on the young man.

Now however he looked utterly exhausted – like he hadn't even been in his mate's presences for weeks.

She'd have to talk to him about that – make sure he knew exactly how important it was to both his health and the baby's for him to be touched and to just be in general contact with the baby's father. The baby needed the extra energy, so did Conrart, without Yozak's help Conrad likely either wouldn't be able to carry the child to term – or he wouldn't survive doing it.

She was careful as she examined him using her gifts to examine not only the baby's growth and development but Conrart's womb as well.

The child was doing well, strong and growing at the proper rate from what she could tell. Even with her gift she couldn't tell the child's gender. It was the grown man in front of her that worried her. She didn't like the look of his womb. He was alarmingly low on energy, and completely drained. Also from the looks of it he'd originally been carrying twins.

"Lord Weller -" she began only to be cut off.

"Conrart," he said simply – he voice heavily laced with fatigue. "please call me Conrart."

She inclined her head. "alright Conrart, so you want to tell me why Yozak's not here with you? He's been following you around since you got here. I find it hard to believe he'd leave you alone now. Not when you look like this. You're ready to drop. I doubt you've been sleeping well and you are currently alarmingly close to losing this child. As such I'd be very, very surprised if you've even let the father touch you in weeks. The child needs it's father's touch and you need to be willing to provide it with that. I don't know what the two of you are fighting about but it has to end now. You - "

"Yozak's not the father."

"made the – what?!" she yelped.

Conrad sighed and glanced down. "I was raped, Yozak's not the father. He's been great to me, but he's not her father."

"he's your mate, his touch seems to be doing the same thing. " she said quietly. "I know you were allowing him to touch you just a few weeks ago, I saw that much for myself. What changed?"

Conrad seemed to curl in on himself, his cheeks turning an alarming shade of red. "about a week ago I had a flashback of what happened and well it became a nightmare and Yozak was there and he stayed with me, but in the morning when I woke up. I-I, it was like the nightmare hadn't stopped. I – I know it's ridiculous but I can't get the nightmare out of my head, every time I see him, I see it and I can't find the courage to tell him about it or to –to ask why, why, why I -"

"Well you're going to have to get up that courage." Emma informed him firmly. "I know Yozak well enough to know there is no way he let you come all the way over here on your own. Not in this condition. I'm going to go get him and you are going to find the courage to tell him what is going on. Because you are not getting off of that bed until you've worked this out."

That said she turned and walked away. It only took her a minute to find her way outside. "Alright I know you're out here." She called, and jumped about 6 feet when Yozak nimbly landed beside her from his perch on the roof. "Go talk to your mate." She said simply her hand still over her heart.

~~~***~~~

Day , 1300hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak carefully approached Conrad, noting the way he was curled up in a protective ball. "You wanted to talk to me?"

Conrad looked up at him then away, but it was enough for Yozak to see the tears in his eyes.

"T-that night, when I, when I had my last flashback. I – I also had a nightmare." Conrad said quietly.

Yozak held his silence refusing to interrupt Conrad.

"I-in the nightmare, Aisen, Aisen was r-ra-raping me, but he, he became you."

Yozak couldn't help it - that hurt!

Still he was silent and let Conrad continue.

"But then I, I woke up and you were trying to get out from under the bed, and then I – I felt safe be-because I was in your arms. When, when I woke up again we- we were, in b-bed and I was still in your arms and I felt safe, b-but t-then I – I." he swallowed, and pressed on, though Yozak could see him shaking. "I re-realized I, I wasn't wearing any pants o-or u-un-underwear. I – I was hard, and I- I was only wearing a shirt. I-I know you w-would never h-hurt me. Would n-never d-do s-something l-like that… but I – oh great one Yozak, why didn't I, why – were- why didn't I have any pants on?"

Yozak felt as if he'd been struck, he'd taken off Conrad's wet leggings, and hadn't even given a thought to how Conrad might have reacted to it. Of course he'd taken it badly – he'd been raped for crying out loud! He felt horrible and to make matters worse Conrad had just dissolved into tears. He was muttering apologies and whimpering softly.

Carefully he gathered Conrad into his arms. "shh," he whispered. "shh, it's okay, I understand. Do you remember hiding under the bed?" he asked continuing at Conrad's slight nod. "do you remember me trying to come under the bed after you?" Conrad shook his head, a tiny almost unseen gesture. "well I did but all it accomplished was that I scared you more." he paused not quite sure how to deal with this. On the one hand, there was the simple truth – but that would embarrass Conrad. On the other hand there was the sugar coated version. He finally decided on a happy medium. "You wet your pants, and wedged yourself into a corner tying to escape me so I let you be until you were ready to come to me. After you fell asleep in my arms… well… I couldn't just leave you in them. Could I? "

"I'm sorry." Conrad replied in a small voice his face buried in Yozak's shoulder. "I'm sorry I could even think-"

"You had every right to think it. It's okay, I love you. I'm here for you. I'm sorry I scared you. You're safe with me – that much I can promise. I understand, and I'm here for you. No matter what I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. I love you.

With Conrad cradled in his arms he slowly and carefully lowered himself onto the bed, curling up on his side, spooned up against his best friend, lover, and the man he loved more than life itself. Slowly he slid his hand around so that it rested on Conrad's stomach. He left his hand there for a while, before carefully sliding his hand under Conrad's shirt. "I love you," he whispered settling his hand back against the slight bulge of Conrad's stomach.

He expected Conrart to protest the skin on skin contact, so he was quite supprised when the other man moaned and snuggled closer to his chest. It took him another minute to realize Conrart was asleep. He shifted slightly bringing his knees up to more effectively cradle Conrad against him. He'd let his friend sleep, for another hour. Then he'd take him home.

~~~***~~~

Day 217, 1420

~~~***~~~

Yozak looked up when Alex entered the room.

"Emma told me Lord Weller, fell asleep." The man said simply, leaning against the door frame. "I hooked up the cart we use to take the harvest down to market. I'll take you both home, let him sleep."

Yozak inclined his head, and got to his feet, he couldn't help the feelings that washed over him when Conrad whimpered at the loss of contact. Carefully he scooped Conrad up into his arms and carried him bridle style out of the room – smiling slightly when Conrart nestled closer to his chest, tucking his nose into his shoulder.

He followed Alex out of the room nodding slightly to Emma as they passed, silently thanking her for everything she'd done. The cart was hooked to a middle-aged plow horse, and lined with a serviceable but worn quilt. He hesitated for a moment but then he carefully handed Conrart over to Alex and settled himself down on the cart, arranging the bedding to his liking before holding his arms out for his mate. Alex gently handed him over, waiting quietly while he settled Conrad between his legs so that his back rested against his chest.

Yozak gave him a small smile, and pulled the end of the blanket up around Conrart, that done he slid his hand back under Conrad's shirt, letting it rest on the younger man's stomach. He could see the color slowly returning to his friend's cheeks, and feel the steady drain of his energy as they rode back to the little cabin that was to be home until they returned to Bloodpledge palace.

Conrad slept on, safe in his arms and unconcerned by his moving bed.

He didn't even wake when they arrived and Yozak carried him into the cabin and put him to bed gently removing his boots, before covering him with their blankets. He crawled into bed himself cradling Conrad in his arms and resting his hand on Conrad's stomach. He'd meant to stay awake, to simply hold Conrad for a time before doing a bit of reading – but he soon joined Conrad in sleep.

~~~***~~~

Day 218, 0845 hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak awoke to the sunlight streaming in through the window. He shifted slightly stretching, muttering under his breath about pesky beams of sunlight, before he realized something. Conrad was still asleep in his arms –which made this the first time since Aisen had assaulted him that Conrad actually slept through the night.

Conrad was curled up against him his head pillowed against his chest. Yozak smiled and gently ran his hand (which had been resting on Conrart's stomach when they'd fallen asleep) across Conrad's back, and upward until he was gently petting Conrad's hair. Sometime during the night the smaller man had rolled over and cuddled up against his side.

Yozak continued his gentle petting, whispering words of love and comfort.

"Come on sleepy, it's time to greet the day." He whispered gently massaging the back of Conrad's neck.

Conrart moaned and attempted to burrow into his chest, "m-sleepy."

~~~***~~~

A.N.

I'm not quite happy with this chapter but it's the best I can do on 2 hrs of sleep a night and working overtime on my store's big sale. For those of you who asked, no this part doesn't just cover the time spent in the hunting cabin. This Is just an extended flashback we will get back to where chapter 1 left off soon. As always read and review please. Ask questions. Tell me what you think… give my muse a cup of coffee?


	6. Chapter 6

Day 228, 1200hrs

~~~***~~~

Conrart whimpered, and shifted slightly trying to escape the painful scrape of silk across the head of his overly sensitive erection. The slight movement didn't help, in fact if anything it made it worse. Great One he was so sensitive. It hurt, he couldn't escape the fabric's caress, and even the slightest movement made it worse and he had yet to find a way to alleviate the problem without actually touching himself.

It wasn't that he was above masturbating. On the contrary he was – usually – quite comfortable with the activity. Hell he'd even made a production of if for Yozak a time or two! Now however the mere thought of being touched in such an intimate manner –even by his own hand – terrified him.

He shifted again, and felt Yozak wrapping his arms around him. He stiffened slightly, unable to stop the sting of fear that shot up his spine at the gentle touch coupled with his painfully hard erection.

"Shh," Yozak whispered into his ear, pulling him closer to a broad well muscled chest. "It's just me. I'm not going to hurt you."

Conrart leaned back into his friend's chest, taking comfort in the tender way Yozak was petting his hair, one large hand resting on the swelling mound of his stomach.

~~~***~~~

Day 249, 0745 hrs

~~~***~~~

"mmm…Yozak."

Yozak awoke to the soft sound of his name falling from Conrad's lips. "Are you alright?" he whispered, in response to the soft noises Conrart was currently making. Soft noses that were part whimper mostly moan, and half smothered in the back of Conrart's throat – like he was trying vainly to keep quiet.

At first he didn't recognize the soft sounds for what they were, and his mind hit upon the last time Conrart had whimpered in his sleep – the acoustic byproduct of his terrifying nightmares.

His body recognized the soft noises Conrart was making long before his mind did. For a moment he was annoyed. Here he was taking care of his best friend – his very pregnant best friend. His former lover, the man of his dreams, the man he wanted nothing more than to marry to raise kids with and to eventually grow old and die with. Here he was painfully celibate for the past few years; and Conrart (if the noses he was currently making was anything to go by) was sound asleep beside him having an erotic dream.

After a moments annoyance he sighed and settled back down, waiting quietly for Conrart to settle, once he had, Yozak smiled and pulled him up against his chest. Gently he petted the other man's hair, whispered soft words of love into his ear just as he would have, had Conrart not been dreaming. He couldn't help the soft smile on his face.

This dream – frustrating as it was for him – meant Conrart was healing.

That was really all that mattered.

~~~***~~~

Day 266, 1600hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak sighs, and quietly watched Conrart playing with the small green rattling ball he'd bought for the baby so long ago. Conrart's been pretty quiet for the past few days. He can't help it – he was worried. This had all started after Conrart's last checkup. He couldn't understand it. The baby was okay, and Conrart had spent the time waiting for Emma to see him happily chatting with a young woman and her husband who were expecting their first child.

He settled himself down on the table in front of Conrart in defiance of etiquette. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

For a moment Conrart held his silence and just looked at him. Finally he shook his head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" again Conrart shook his head. "How can I help, if I don't know what's wrong?" he asked.

Conrart sighed. "you can't help. Not this time. There is nothing you can do this time."

Yozak raised an eyebrow, "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" he asked.

Conrart looked down and gently stroked his swollen stomach. "That woman – Mirial – the one we met while waiting to see Emma. She and her husband were so happy. I – My child will never know its father. Its better that way – but it still hurts."

Yozak closed his eyes briefly, then rose to his feet and moved, settling himself down on the sofa beside his friend. Tenderly he wrapped an arm around Conrart's slim shoulders. "I can't take away your pain." He said simply, pulling Conrad up against him. "But I can share it."

Conrad shifted slightly and cuddled up against Yozak tucking his head under the larger man's chin and silently drawing strength from the presence of a friend. He didn't know how long they sat like that, but he did know that it was dark when he pulled away again. "Thank you" he whispered.

Yozak looked at Conrart noting the way he averted his eyes. he loved his best friend, his lover, his Conrart, and he wanted nothing more than to reclaim Conrart as his own – to mark his territory. To marry Conrart and raise a family with him – in some way the dream he'd always wanted –being able to call Conrart his – was the ultimate way of saying 'Fuck You' to Aisen and the filthy swine's memory. Simply because in order for that to happen, Conrad had to heal and move on with his life; proving once and for all that _Aisen _had no power over him.

Gazing down into Conrart's glorious brown eyes, he wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

The man was healing – but was he ready for that?

_Only one way to find out._

Gently he slid his fingers under Conrad's chin and lifted, until Conrad was forced to look him in the eye.

For a moment he simply gazes at him searching … for what he's not even sure.

He licked his lips, leaned in and placed a gentle, chaste kiss on Conrad's lips.

To his surprise Conrart tentatively responded.

"I love you." The words are out of his mouth before he can even think about them. _I'm not going to leave you alone. I'll be her father, if you'll let me. _He wanted so badly to say it – but he held his tongue.

Conrad's not ready for that yet.

For now – he'll take what Conrad can give.

~~~***~~~

Day 286, 1000hrs

~~~***~~~

Conrad sighed and tried to ignore his persistent … problem. With a groan he sank beneath the warm waters of his bath. In some ways it was odd – sitting in a relatively small sunken bath tub that had to be filled by bucket. The tub itself was big enough for two, and Yozak wouldn't even let him help fill it. Actually Yozak wouldn't let him lift much of anything – it was getting damned annoying! It seemed like every time he turned around Yozak was babying him. The phrase "I'm pregnant, not an invalided" had become his mantra of late.

Which Yozak usually replied "invalided or not you're still pregnant and you're still not lifting that."

Just thinking about it annoyed him.

It was great to know that Yozak cared about him but it was still downright aggravating. He reached over and picked up a small bar of soap, and grabbed a wash rag. Conrad glanced up when a shadow fell across him. Yozak stood just inside the door. "Mind if I join you? I could use a bath."

For a moment Conrart froze, terrified.

_This is Yozak. _

_He'd never hurt me. He's been taking care of me. _

"o-of course you can join me."

~~~***~~~

Day 300, 1832 hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak smiled as he wrapped a towel around his hip and handed another one to Conrart. In the fortnight that had transpired since their bath first bath together, they'd started bathing together daily. There chaste kiss 34 days ago had been a breakthrough, a sign that Conrad was truly healing. Now he was steeling kisses that were becoming increasingly less chaste. It had actually gotten to the point that he could gently rub his hands over Conrad's body (baring his hips, throat, thighs and – he hadn't even tried the groin) without Conrad panicking. In fact he'd started to lean into the gentle touches, and while he was still a bit jumpy they'd come a long way since Aisen's trial.

Conrad hadn't wet the bed since the night he'd flung himself under the bed in terror and while he still had nightmares, he was at least sleeping through the night, again. Nightmares still occasionally woke him but it was nowhere near as bad as it had once been.

He couldn't help letting his eyes travel the length of Conrart's beautiful dripping body as the other man climbed up out of the tub. At 10 months exactly, Conrad was very noticeably pregnant, and still suffering from nearly constant arousal. Before he'd gotten pregnant Conrad had been stunning, but now he was simply beautiful and Yozak continually had to remind himself that Conrad needed his friend not his lover. He also had to remind himself that unless he got Conrart to marry him sometime before the child was born, he wouldn't be able to say Conrart looked beautiful carrying his child.

He wanted that more than anything else in the world – to be able to say Conrad looked beautiful carrying his child – to claim both Conrad and the child as his. That was what he wanted, to be a husband and a father.

Right now Conrad looked painfully hard, wincing as he wrapped the towel around himself.

He couldn't help himself he had Conrad in his arms at the sound of that whimper. He should have stopped there but his mouth betrayed him before he could slam the lid on the mental box labeled 'very bad ideas'. "Would you like some help with that?" he asked before he could stop himself.

To his surprise Conrart only nodded.

Yozak blinked, and gently kissed Conrad on the forehead. "I love you," he said simply. "I will never hurt you, and I just want to be sure that you are sure about this. Is this what you want? If it isn't I understand. If it is then I'm happy to help but I have one ground rule. If you get uncomfortable, or want me to stop for any reason – I want you to tell me alright?"

"I – I understand, and I am sure. I – please Yozak. I –"

"Shh," Yozak replied gently resting one finger against Conrad's lips. "Not here, you deserve better." That said he gently ran the towel across Conrad's body to dry him off before scooping him up into his arms and carrying him into the bedroom.

Carefully he set Conrad down on the bed before turning, going over to the nightstand and liberating a small vile of honeysuckle scented massage oil. He returned to the bed and Conrad, set the little bottle down on the coverlet and tenderly parted Conrart's legs, before settling himself down between them. Yozak was careful to maintain eye contact with his lover, as he uncorked the bottle and poured some of the oil onto his palm.

He rubbed his hands together to warm the oil, met Conrad's eyes and tentatively touched his lover's thighs. Tender soft caresses to his flushed skin, gently and slowly enticing him, arousing him further, while he slowly worked his way up to Conrad's straining erection. He kept eye contact with his lover listening to the soft sounds Conrad was making. Soft noses that were part whimper of want, and moan of pleasure. Gently he touched the head of Conrad's quivering member, rubbing his thumb along the tip in soft circular motions. Then once the pitch of Conrart's cries had reached just the right octave, he ran the index finger of his other hand up the underside of his lover's engorged shaft along the vain. That done he wrapped his hand loosely around the base of Conrad erection and still gently fingering the tip of his weeping erection, began to gently run his hand up his shaft to the base of his foreskin, and down again. He started slowly at first, then increased his speed, listening to the soft noises his lover was making and waiting for just the right change.

Finally Conrad's breathing hitched ever so slightly. He ran his hand all the way up his lover's shaft, and began slowly running it up and down along the head of Conrad's erection, rolling the foreskin in on itself. Slowly teasingly, he fully exposed the head of Conrad's cock, rolling back the foreskin. Gently he explored the tip with the pad of his fingers, while gently rubbing his hand up and down the shaft of Conrad's erection. After a moment he abandoned the head of Conrad's cock in favor of gently massaging his balls, as he did so he replaced the fingers that had been gently caressing the weeping tip of his lover's erection with his tongue.

He savored the taste of the pre-cum he'd managed to milk out of Conrart's shaft.

He brought Conrad close to the edge several times, always backing off to prevent him from comeing. It may have seemed mean but he was waiting waiting for all the signs to be there, waiting for the right moment to let Conrad cum.

Then it happened Conrart made the one noise he'd been waiting for, and in one swift moment he engulfed the head of conrad's member in his mouth, sucking gently on the weeping appendage and stroking the shaft with one hand. The other hand he set on Conrart's hip, gently preventing him from bucking.

Slowly he turned his hand job into a full on blow job. All the while listening to the soft sounds his lover was making.

Finally Conrart made the one noise that always heralded his release, Yozak swallowed as Conrad erupted into his mouth, gently milking every last drop out of Conrad's softening cock.

He licked his lips and crawled up the bed intent on ending this exactly as he would have ended it had he actually made love to Conrad rather than simply giving him pleasure.

He curled up around Conrad softly professing his love and his eternal devotion. But the words died on his lips when he realized Conrart was crying, softly, soundlessly crying. Only the tears on his cheeks giving him away.

Yozak felt horrible – how had he missed the signs that Conrart wanted him to stop? He went over every little noise Conrad had made, every little gesture, but he found nothing to indicate anything other than pleasure. Softly he apologized, he didn't accuse Conrad of not telling him to stop – he simply apologized.

"That's not the reason I'm crying." Conrad finally gasped out. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Yozak blinked startled and more than a little confused. "Then why are you crying?" he asked after a second.

Conrad turned over and hid his face in his chest. "Because I wish you where her father – not Aisen! I hate him but I love her. Does that make sense? Great One we've been lovers for decades, Yozak, why couldn't it have been you? Why did it have to be Aisen? I- I hate him for taking what was yours and I hate him for tainting the one thing I've always wanted. I-I always wanted to have children – to give you children, the big f-family you've always wanted. But I can't know because Aisen, t-tainted me. Oh great one I wish this child was yours."

Yozak simply held Conrad, soothing back his hair and cradling him to his chest offering what little comfort he could. "you are not tainted." He whispered.

He lay there for what seemed like ages until Conrad had finally cried himself to sleep, then he slid off the bed and gently covered his lover with blankets. Going over to the wardrobe he carefully and quietly unearthed his travel bags and the blue velvet wrapped parcel that lay hidden within. Quietly he made his way into the other room and settled himself down on the sofa, cradling the little parcel in his hands.

Honestly he didn't even know why he'd brought the thing with him in the first place. Slowly he unwrapped it revealing the little handmade box he'd crafted to hold the courting gift he'd intended to give to Conrart before this whole mess started. Flipping the latch he lifted the lid and gazed down at the pendent that rested in the box's velvet folds. Painful as Conrad's earlier words had been they gave him some hope for the future.

Conrad was slowly healing, he still had a ways to go, but hopefully someday soon he would see this pendent hanging around Conrad's neck.

~~~***~~~

Day 307, 1800 hrs

~~~***~~~

Conrad sighed as he climbed out of the bath. In the week that had passed since he'd started allowing Yozak to help him with his problem, he'd become increasingly less frustrated, but he couldn't help noticing that Yozak was becoming a bit distant.

It hurt, but Yozak had every reason to shy away from him. it still hut though.

Briskly he dried himself off and pulled on a robe before heading into the other room.

He found Yozak sitting on the couch gazing down into his hands. "Are you alright?" he asked after a second.

Yozak looked up at him and smiled, but Conrad heard something click shut, and saw Yozak stash something in the breast of his shirt, as he entered the living room. Yozak stood up and gazed at him for a second before swallowing, uncertainly. Then he walked over to him and stood in front of him gazing into his eyes. Abruptly he dropped to his knees and gently pressed his cheek into Conrad's distended stomach.

Conrad smiled lightly; Yozak had the tendency to talk to his stomach, to hold completely one-sided conversations with the little child still waiting to greet the world.

"Hello in there, little one it's uncle Yozak again, b-but I would really rather be daddy." That said he rose gracefully to his feet and pulled a small beautiful handmade box out of the breast of his tunic. "If mommy will let me?" he added carefully opening the box to revel the pendent within.

Conrad was floored. For a moment he could do nothing but gaze into Yozak's eyes, taken aback by the sincerity he saw there. "You're serious?" he asked in a small voice, hardly daring to believe that he was truly about to get everything he'd hoped for but thought Aisen had stolen from him.

Yozak nodded.

"Okay." He whispered. It was hardly the most intelligent or eloquent thing to ever pass his lips but he was really rather surprised he was even capable of speech right then. Carefully he dropped to his knees indicating his complete submission to his mate – even though he knew Yozak likely wouldn't understand the gesture. Before Aisen he would have taken the pendent in his hand and put it on himself, but right now he needed the support and the protection that Yozak could provide and he was more than willing to submit to Yozak. He loved and trusted the man with his very being.

He felt tears trickling down his cheeks when he felt the weight of the pendent settling at his breast. Carefully Yozak scooped him up in his arms and carried him into the other room. Gently setting him on the bed Yozak climbed up beside him and gently laid his cheek against Conrad's swollen stomach. "Hi baby," he said softly. "It's daddy. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, and to assure you that I intend to spoil you near rotten. Yes I do."

Conrad couldn't help it he laughed.

Yozak smiled at him as he curled up around him, one hand resting on his 'baby bump'. "I intend to spoil you rotten to." he said softly, gently kissing his forehead.

Conrad wrapped his hand around the pendent briefly before letting go and shrugging out of his robe. He then curled up against Yozak naked. After a moment he asked in a small voice "Will you hold me?"

Yozak chuckled, "I thought I was doing that already?"

Conrad shook his head and tugged at the waistband of Yozak's leggings. "no I want to feel you against me, please?"

"Are you sure?" Yozak asked leveling himself up on one elbow.

Conrad nodded, his cheeks flushing. He didn't want sex just to be held, but he wanted to feel the skin on skin contact that he hadn't felt in a very, very long time.

Yozak slipped off the bed and slowly stripped, making a slow and tantalizing production of it, before returning to the bed and tenderly gathering him into his arms Conrad cuddled up against him. Wondering what it would be like raising a family together in the years to come. He knew how much Yozak wanted a family and children of his own. He wondered how many children the man wanted. He intended to give him that many or as close to it as he could come.

"Yozak?" he asked quietly after some time had passed with him envisioning children that looked like a perfect blend of him and Yozak (by the great one he was nesting already). "H-how many children do you want?"

Yozak pulled him closer and returned the hand that had been resting on top of his stomach to its customary spot. "One's okay to start with. But I'd love to have three or four. Including this little one, she's mine to."

Three or Four… he could do that. He would do that; he would give Yozak three or four children – more if he could manage it. Snuggling up against his fiancé he fell asleep lulled by the sound of his steady beating heart, and dreamed of their family, of small children running around and of the pitter patter of little feet.

He could nest now secure in the knowledge that Yozak was there, Yozak would keep him and their brood safe.

It was a wonderful feeling.

~~~***~~~

A.N Read and review please. Sorry this took so long.


	7. Chapter 7

~~~***~~~

Day 311, 1200hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak smiled as he sanded the beautiful hard wood under his hand. Soon his gift to would be done. In some ways it was funny – when he'd started this project it had been a gift for his friend's child, now it was for his own child.

His first born child

He didn't think he'd ever get tired of that.

In almost 9 months Conrart was going to give him his first child. The very thought made him smile.

He put down his sand paper and ran his hand across the soft arch of the wood, against the grain to insure the absence of splinters. He set down what would soon be the headboard for the bassinet he was making and picked up another the baseboard. Deftly he sanded that until it was free of splinters. Once he'd finally finished sanding he picked the headboard back up and carried it over to a table that sat underneath one of the shed's windows. The sun streaming in through the window illuminated the table well so he set to work. Picking up a small stick of chock he began to sketch. He wanted something fun and upbeat, but eloquent and soothing – something that would be suitable for a child of either gender.

At first he'd considered using the Weller crest but something told him that just wasn't a good idea. In the end he'd settled for carving a babbling brook winding its way through a forest of trees, with hills rising in the background.

He looked up as the lighting changed and realized it was about two hours or so past noon.

He should be getting back; Conrad would be waking up from his nap soon.

~~~***~~~

Day 311, 1420hrs

~~~***~~~

Conrart Weller yawned, and stretched before sitting up in bed. In the few days that had passed since Yozak became his fiancé, his friend had become entirely overprotective. Part of Conrad appreciated the effort, the rest of him however was alternating between engaging his friend in a shouting match and runny away screaming.

But he had to admit he felt better after taking a nap.

Idly he wondered if he could get away with not admitting that fact to his over protective fiancé.

Shortly after he'd agreed to allow Yozak to become the father of his unborn child, Yozak had started insisting he take afternoon naps. The part of him that was still a fiercely independent person bulked at the mere thought, however he'd be lying if he said he wasn't tired.

And he had on a purely instinctual level agreed to be submissive to Yozak.

So after putting up a token fuss he'd actually taken a nap – and thus had started his new daily routine. He got up had a bath, ate breakfast and went for a short walk down by the lake. After that he relaxed and worked a bit on the blanket he was currently embroidering for their daughter, soaking in the midmorning son. At noon he ate whatever lunch Yozak had prepared since the man was refusing to even let him lift a frying pan let alone actually cook anything. After that Yozak required him to at least lay down and rest – though he usually fell asleep.

The first time he'd simply curled up in bed and resigned himself to 'humoring' Yozak – only to awake a few hours later feeling relaxed and refreshed.

At first he'd been alarmed, but Yozak assured him he would never allow him to sleep longer than 3 hours past noon – simply because he wouldn't be able to sleep at night if he did.

So now a good three days after the fact he found himself climbing up out of the realm of sleep, and as usual Yozak was sitting in a chair beside the bed.

Honestly didn't the man have other things to do?

He couldn't really think of anything now but he was sure Yozak could find something … or create something more entertaining to occupy his time then watching him take an afternoon nap.

"Morning sleepy," Yozak said jovially. "Did you have a nice nap?"

Conrad muttered something inarticulate under his breath about infernally perky people, and climbed out of bed. A wave of dizziness washed over him and he quickly sat back down.

"Are you alright?" Yozak asked quietly.

Conrad's reply was quiet. "I just got up to fast. I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Don't worry so much." Conrart answered mildly, climbing back to his feet. He paused briefly. "Can we go fishing?"

Yozak blinked, "promise to use a fishing pole and I'll bite."

Conrart laughed, "alright, I'll use fishing rod."

Yozak chuckled, if he was truthful Conrad rarely fished with his hands unless he had to, but still it was fun to tease him about it. "I take it you want fish for dinner." He said simply as they headed out of the cabin walking shoulder to shoulder.

Conrad nodded, despite knowing he didn't have to.

He was a soldier, but his father had taught him that killing on the battle field and killing for sport where two entirely different things. Like his father before him, he didn't hunt or fish unless he intended to eat his catch, or give the catch to someone who needed the meat.

Yozak knew that.

So it went without saying that he at least would be having fish for dinner.

~~~***~~~

Day 311, 2200hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak gazed down at his fiancé. Conrad was fast asleep in his arms. He shifted slightly and gently caressed the other man's stomach. Conrad was now very pregnant. They had about 2 maybe three more weeks before they were forced to leave the cabin. He didn't want to risk traveling with Conrart after the man had entered his third trimester - which he would in just 65 days. He wanted to be back at Bloodpledge palace with Conrad safely in Gisela's care before that happened. And he also wanted to have every right to claim a kinship tie to the child Conrart was carrying by then.

If he didn't and something went wrong – he would be powerless to uphold Conrad's wishes. That plus he didn't want to taint Conrart's memories of their marriage by having the date be too closely linked the date of their child's conception.

Also he didn't think Conrad would be allowed to travel – even the short distance to Shinou's temple after he reached his third trimester. Gisela thought it would be too dangerous.

They would have to leave here soon anyway.

Normally he didn't advocate cowardly behavior.

But he'd gone into town for groceries yesterday and overheard the first stirrings of Conrad's and Aisen's name in the gossip mill.

Hopefully Conrad had healed enough to face the palace gossip mill.

He rubbed gentle circles on Conrad's swollen belly and wondered what the future would bring as he followed his best friend and fiancé into the realm of sleep.

~~~***~~~

Day 314, 1325hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak smiled as he put the little bassinet together. He'd designed it so that it would rock gently from side to side, but could also be held steady in one position. He smiled, running his hand across the engravings and the smooth polished wood. He couldn't wait to see the look on Conrad's face when he gave him his gift.

He'd been very, very careful to make sure nothing about the bassinet he'd designed was even remotely similar to the monstrosity that Aisen had left in Conrart's rooms. Everything from the basic design to the woods used was different and he was glad of that.

"Yozak?"

The sound of his name being called drew his attention and he turned around abruptly to find Conrart standing just inside the doorway.

It looked like his fiancé was going to be learning about his gift a bit ahead of schedule.

~~~***~~~

Day 319, 1930 hrs

~~~***~~~

Conrart shifted slightly, enjoying the touch of Yozak's skin against his own. the soft bed of wild grass they were currently laying in offered little shelter from the breeze, as they dried off after their swim. Five and a half years ago, they'd made love here under the shelter of a willow tree down by the lake. Now all they were doing was sharing a wonderful afternoon in each other's embrace. Currently Conrad was trying to ignore his rising erection. It was a condition Yozak was however unwittingly bringing about.

They lay spooned together on their sides and Conrad could feel the smooth curve of Yozak's hips and the soft caress of his coppery pubic hair against his backside. To make matters more interesting Yozak was absently stroking his hip with one hand.

The man was also mostly asleep – and Conrad loathed the idea of disturbing him.

Conrad couldn't help it he squirmed, gyrated his hips in an attempt to avoid Yozak's nimble fingers, as the man found and exploited one of the few spots where he was actually ticklish.

The involuntary movement did 2 things. One it succeeded in making him painfully hard, and two it woke Yozak.

The soft brush of Yozak's fingertips became just slightly firmer and Conrad couldn't help marveling again at the fact that Yozak didn't think he was tainted. But then Yozak couldn't see the path Aisen's hand's had branded into his skin couldn't see the filthy trail Conrad himself was completely sure Aisen had left in his wake.

Yozak told him again and again that he was safe, that he wasn't tainted, that he was beautiful and strong, and despite constant reassurances that he hadn't done anything wrong – he still felt filthy. But he was finally, finally beginning to believe the man who had been friend and emotional support and lover or some combination of the three for almost as long as he could remember. So maybe just maybe he could heal, could put the pain of Aisen's actions behind him and start his life over again as Yozak's spouse. Maybe he'd even be able to let Yozak physically love him again.

To lie in his arms and actually sleep after making love to his best friend, his lover, his mate… to raise his children, and spend a few hundred years growing old together – it all seemed like an impossibly lovely dream.

Yozak leveled himself up on one elbow and gazed down at him. his eyes shining with love and compassion. The hand slid from the crest of his hip down to the cradle of his pelvis, and stopped just short of his pubic hair. Conrad suppressed the urge to whimper, marveling at how much he wanted that gentle touch to continue its trek lower. He wanted to be touched to be loved both emotionally and physically and it was okay – because it was Yozak.

"Want some help with this?" Yozak enquired, indicating his erection.

"Yes, please." Conrad breathed.

He felt the gentle pressure of Yozak's knee pressing into his thighs and after a moment's internal debate parted his legs and allowed Yozak to slide his knee between his thighs. From there Yozak gently lowered his hand and tenderly banished his raging problem.

~~~***~~~

Day 320, 0345hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak gently stroked his sleeping fiancé's hair, watching quietly as Conrart slept on. Secure in his embrace. He couldn't sleep, he'd tried but – well Conrart wasn't the only one who had nightmares about what Aisen had done. Gisela's description of how Conrad had looked when she'd treated him the morning after he'd been raped haunted him. the very idea that Aisen had so much as laid a finger of Conrad with impure intentions infuriated him to no end. The fact that Aisen had dared to mare Conrad's perfect skin with bruises – let alone the fact that he'd raped and broken his mate – made him mad enough to kill.

But sometimes in his dreams he saw Conrad helpless, and crying out for him in pain and terror.

The knowledge that he hadn't been there to protect his mate made him ill.

All he could do was lay in bed with Conrart tucked safely against his side, and thank the Great One the man was Healing. Baring that all he could do was swear he would never fail to protect his mate again.

He gently rested his hand against Conrad's swollen stomach and resolved to protect his mate and their child from anything that could cause them harm – even if it meant laying down his own life!

Nothing was going to harm them again

Not if he could help it.

He felt the soft tug of his energy being transferred to the baby and smiling slightly he closed his eyes and went back to sleep. They were heading home again in just a few short hours. When they got back he had every intention of bullying or begging Gwendal until the man arranged a quick but not quiet wedding for him and Conrart.

By ancient law he had to be married to Conrad at least five months before the child was born in order to be able to claim the child as his own – even then he'd still have to wait until almost six months after the child's birth to be able to legally adopt her. If however their wedding did not take place at least five months before the child's birth then he would have to wait until seven years after the birth in order to legally be considered the child's father.

He was unwilling to wait that long!

Their daughter would have the added protection of a full and formal blood adoption as soon as possible. He didn't want to risk that bastard Aisen worming his way up out of the wood work and attempting to claim her!

He'd kill the bastard before he let him touch his daughter!

Or die himself to protect his family from that menace!

~~~***~~~

Day 320, 0825hrs

~~~***~~~

Conrart Weller sighed and shifted slightly on the soft cushion that lined the carriage's seats. Outside he could hear Yozak directing the men who'd been hired to transport them safely back to the capital city and the palace. His mother had hired the carriage and it was luxuriously extravagant with all its soft velvet, and shimmering silk upholstery. Breakfast had been provided along with a selection of beverages, and his choice of blankets in varying plush thicknesses rested on seat beside him.

He longed to be outside the carriage with Yozak helping the hired hands to load their things, but he'd been shooed inside and ordered to rest and have something to eat.

Not a one of them would alow him to lift a finger to help.

It was aggravating

He was having a baby

Not dying of a terminal illness

Okay so he was having a difficult pregnancy

That didn't mean they had to treat him like spun glass!

Eventually the door opened and Yozak climbed in. the red head smiled at him, before picking up the blanket that looked both soft and warm and wrapped him up in it ignoring the doorman as he closed the door.

"Can't have you catching cold," Yozak said by way of explanation as he settled himself down beside him, one strong arm wrapped loosely around Conrad's slim shoulders.

Conrad suppressed the urge to groan at the fragile way he was being treated and leaned into Yozak's embrace as the carriage started off for the capital city and home.

~~~***~~~

A.N. please read and review. we're winding down on the flash back part of this fic and should be back at the beginning again in the next 2-5 chapters. Thanks for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

~~~***~~~

Day 320, 1130hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak suppressed the urge to sigh as he helped Conrad back into the carriage for the third time that morning. Apparently the trip wasn't agreeing with him. So far he'd thrown up twice and had to pee once. It was all due to his pregnancy he understood that. How could he not when Conrad was already making frequent trips to the privy because the baby was using his bladder as a pillow? Still it was a bit worrying to have to stop every so often so Conrad could either pee or revisit his breakfast. The frequent stops made them easy prey for bandits. To make matters worse Conrart himself was very well aware of and alarmed by that fact.

Yozak was doing his level best to be patient, he really was, but Conrad was stressing out and that wasn't good for the baby. They would be stopping for lunch in a nearby town in about two to three hours depending on the frequency of their unscheduled stops. He'd have a healer look at Conrad then – and hopefully they could give the poor man something to settle his stomach.

Conrart whimpered and curled up against him- utterly miserable!

He shifted and began gently massaging his tense shoulders – loosening knotted muscles, and whispering soft soothing words of love and comfort as he allowed his hands to slip lower, working the kinks out of Conrad's upper and lower back.

By the time he'd finished Conrad was asleep in his arms.

~~~***~~~

Day320, 1300hrs

Healer Elden Smiled as he looked over the young couple standing in his waiting room. The brunette was heavily pregnant – probably a little more than half way through his pregnancy. His red-haired mate held him close, while they waited. The pregnant man's eyes were mostly closed in a sign of lazy fatigue.

They were both very young – the soon to be mother probably only 19 or 20 as human's reckoned age, his mate not much older.

Smiling brightly he made his way over to the couple and calmly introduced himself, before leading Yozak and Conrart into the small room he used to examine his patients. Apparently they were traveling home and Young Conrart was finding it very difficult to keep anything down.

He was deft and gentle in his examination of Conrart; the baby seemed to be in good health despite its mother's fatigue. Apparently the man's nausea had more to do with pregnancy induced motion sickness than anything else. Which was a good thing – it was treatable and it meant that nothing was wrong with the child growing in Young Conrart's womb.

"It's nothing more than a case of fatigue and motion sickness; I can make you a medicine to treat both if you like."

Conrart nodded. "I'd appreciate that."

Elden smiled as the young man yawned, noting to gentle way his husband pulled him back to rest against his chest. That was when he noticed their ring fingers. Neither man wore a ring. His eyes snapped up to young Conrad's throat where he'd noted a heavy medallion earlier. So they were engaged, but not yet married. How cute. "I have a second exam room, why don't you rest here while I make you something for the nausea, and get you some dietary supplements. It should only take about an hour." He turned his attention to the cooper haired soon to be father. "There are some blankets in the basket at the foot of the bed if you need them." that said he turned and left the room.

~~~***~~~

Day 320, 1400 hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak glanced up when the door to the small room he and Conrart were currently resting in opened. Healer Elden slipped into the room carrying a tray laden with a glass of water, two glass jars, a couple of rolled up pieces of parchment, an apple, and three small pills two green and one a mottled brown. He reached down and gently shook Conrad's shoulder to rouse him. The younger man had drifted off to sleep in his arms about ten minutes after the healer had originally left.

Conrart blinked, yawned and sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the back of one hand as he looked around.

"I fell asleep again, didn't i?" Conrad asked casually.

Yozak simply nodded and the two turned their attention back to the healer.

~~~***~~~

Day 320, 1415hrs

~~~***~~~

Healer Elden looked down at the young pregnant man in front of him. Contemplating the young man's words and Yozak's earlier concerns about Conrart's nausea and fatigue – honestly he was a little alarmed by just how easily fatigued young Conrart was. This was the man's first pregnancy but there didn't seem to be any real reason behind his extreme fatigue. Particularly not when his mate was as attentive as Yozak obviously was.

He'd have to have a talk with Yozak about it. If he was the boy's primary healer he'd have him take it easy for the rest of his pregnancy – no stress just to be sure. Judging by how badly his body was reacting to the pregnancy he suspected the two had tried and succeeded in 'forcing the conception' and were now facing the consequences. He was sure that as the obvious seme in the relationship Yozak had likely been on the receiving end of the lecture he was about to get on several occasions, still he planned on adding his own words to the litany. He wanted to make sure the young man knew just how stupid it had been for him to risk his mate like this. It wasn't something he could do again thankfully after this Conrart's womb would be permanently open and receptive, so they could actually conceive with just one night spent together.

Still he wanted them to know just how dangerously stupid it had been for them to get pregnant before their time.

Smiling gently down at Conrart he handed the man the fruit off of the tray, calmly instructing him to eat it. The boy blinked large brown eyes at him before biting into the fruit.

"I want you to take two of the green pills three times a day with food. It's a dietary supplement – the recipe for it has been passed down in my family for generations – it will give you energy and help with the fatigue. As for the white pill I want you to take one pill in the morning and one at lunch it's to help with the nausea." That said he handed the young man a glass of water and the pills watching silently as the boy downed them, glimpsing slightly at the taste of the potent herbs.

He then turned his attention to Yozak. "A word with you," he said simply then added in the same firm tone he used with his own errant children "outside."

The man rose to his feet squeezed his mate's shoulder and followed him out of the room, closing the door gently behind him.

Elden didn't give the man a moment to breathe before he started in on him. "Your mate is extremely fatigued, yet I've noticed that you are extremely attentive to his needs – the only times that happens is when a man's womb is forced open in a short period of time."

He would have said more but he was brought up short by Yozak's upraised hand. "I know where this is going, and yes I know how stupid it is to 'force a conception' and before you jump to conclusions I didn't 'force the conception.' Conrad and I have been intimate for many many years. Before you ask Conrart was raped – our child was sired by another man. That's why he's so fatigued. Now may I go back to my mate?"

All he could do was nod in shock.

_That poor boy._

_~~~***~~~_

_Day 335, 1300hrs_

_~~~***~~~_

Gwendal sighed as he set down the bags he was carrying, he'd just returned from taking his wife shopping for their baby. It was pretty much the last time Isabella would be doing anything to strenuous for the duration of her pregnancy, so he'd gone ahead and indulged his wife's need to spoil their child rotten.

He glanced around the nursery truthfully it was the second one he'd helped to set up in the last five months. He'd helped Wolfram, Yuri, his lady mother and oddly Raven to move Conrart out of his old rooms and into a larger suite in the royal wing shortly after Yozak had taken Conrad away from the capital so he could heal in peace. He'd also helped to set up the small side room connected to the master bedroom for its intended purpose – a nursery.

He let his mind wander as he helped his beloved Issy to unload and organize her newest purchases. He felt a pong of regret as he carefully made up the small bed with silk sheets and a soft velvet comforter. His child's nursery was fully furnished. He'd even sent for the old von Voltaire family cradle, to be brought over from his castle. He ran a hand down the smoothly sanded dark wood. He'd slept in this cradle as a baby, as had his father and his aunt, and his father's father. By custom wolfram had slept in the von Belifield family cradle – but Conrart, Conrart hadn't had a family cradle and Stoffel as head of the von Spitzweg family had denied Conrad the right to sleep in the von Spitzweg family cradle.

He ran his fingers lightly over the engraved von Voltaire family crest, remembering how small Conrart had been when he'd slept soundly under his family's crest. His eyes softened as he remembered the small brown haired brown eyed infant who'd spent his first month fighting for his life because Stoffel had slipped their mother the herbs that terminated pregnancy.

Honestly when he'd first found out his mother was pregnant he'd been angry. He'd been absolutely livid that his own mother could even think about bringing an abomination into the world. But when he'd seen that small bundle of silk wrapped baby cradled in his mother's arms, and seen her tears when the healers had informed her that she might as well start the preparations for that small squirming thing's funeral because he wouldn't live through the month – he'd been terrified.

He hadn't even known Conrart's name and he'd been terrified. In that moment he'd realized that Abomination or not, that squirming bundle of silk wrapped oddly quiet baby, was _HIS LITTLE BROTHER! _Suddenly despite still hating Conrad's father – and still thinking of him as nothing more than a filthy human, he loved and was terrified for the man's child.

He remembered curling up beside his mother and asking the child's name. Conrart, he remembered the first time he'd heard it – a demonic twist on a human name. it suited the small brown eyes pink thing in his mother's arms somehow, and he remembered preying that the great one would be merciful enough to let the little child live.

Over the years he'd watched quietly as his brother not only lived but thrived.

But every time something happened to his little brother, like when he'd found out Stoffel had sent him to the front lines, or the great one had sent him to earth to deliver the soul of an old friend to it's new parents so that it could later return as their new king – or more recently, the incidents with Belar or Aisen, he saw not the grown man, and capable soldier he'd come to know but that small child sleeping underneath his own family's crest.

When he'd first found out that his little brother was pregnant, he'd been livid. How could Conrad have done anything as disgraceful as getting pregnant out of wedlock? But as the night went on he'd begun to see the truth. Conrad had been terrified; it didn't take an oracle to see that. He remembered the pain the horror and the heartbreak he'd felt when he'd drawn the correct conclusion about exactly how the child had been conceived. He also remembered sitting down with his wife, after she'd returned home from visiting her family, and discussing the possibility of sending Conrad and her away until the child was born – and spreading the rumor that she was pregnant and that he'd sent Conrad with her to keep her safe, and to see to her needs, so that they could adopt Conrad's child and spare him the painful social and political ramifications of his pregnancy. Issy had agreed, but Conrart had refused.

He'd actually demanded to know what kind of man he thought he was to even think that he would abandon his child. It had taken him the better part of an hour to calm his hysterical and pregnant younger sibling down.

It was odd, if Issy hadn't gotten pregnant this cradle would currently be in Conrad's rooms waiting for his niece or nephew to use since Conrart didn't have a family cradle. Well he did but it was in Big Shimaron being used by the family that had usurped the throne form Conrad's family so long ago. Even if they could get it, he wouldn't let Conrad use it – insanity might be catching!

Sighing he resolved to take Conrart shopping after he got home, as long as Gisela allowed it. That would at least handle some of the things that Conrart would soon need. Thankfully he'd had the sense to order a new cradle made out of the best wood possible when he'd gone into town two months ago. He'd also had the Weller Family crest engraved into the headboard. Not the abbreviated version Aisen had used in his horrible parody of a bassinet, but the full formal version of it. Conrart had always been partial to Purple heart, mahogany, and cherry woods, so he'd had the cradle made out of a combination of those three woods. The von Voltaire family cradle was made out of Ebony; it was dark and had been made with sons in mind. However he thought Conrart would appreciate something lighter, and brighter, something that would suit either a son or a daughter - particularly given Conrart's current belief that the child was a girl.

He'd stopped by the store he'd purchased the cradle at, and paid the extra fee to have it delivered to the castle; it would be arriving sometime in the next two hours. With luck it would be safely set up in the new nursery before Conrart got home.

~~~***~~~

_Day 335, 1525hrs_

_~~~***~~~_

Yozak gazed down at his sleeping fiancé as they passed the gates that led into the capital city. Conrart had been asleep for the past hour and he was currently debating whether or not to wake the heavily pregnant man. In a little more than half an hour it would be the fourth hour past noon. Conrart was still tiring very easily, but he knew from experience that if he let Conrad sleep much longer he wouldn't sleep much tonight. He shifted slightly and wrapped the blanket more securely around Conrad. He'd let him sleep, but only until they reached the castle.

~~~***~~~

Day 335, 1646hrs

~~~***~~~

Gwendal stood quietly at the base of the stares watching the carriage roll into the courtyard. He was glade Conrad was finally home, Yozak had kept him and the rest of their family up to date on Conrad's condition by pigeon while they were away but that didn't change the fact that his every protective instinct was currently working overtime. He wanted his little brother where he could keep an eye on him.

Finally the carriage came to a stop and the door opened, revealing Yozak, the man climbed easily out of the carriage before turning and carefully helping a heavily pregnant Conrad down.

Gwendal moved forward, intent on getting a better look at his pregnant sibling, and getting the obviously exhausted man upstairs and into the castle, so that he could rest. But he stopped short, when he caught sight of the silver medallion hanging around Conrad's neck, he couldn't help smiling. It appeared that Yozak had decided to propose to his little brother after all.

"How are you feeling?" he asked calmly.

Conrad gave him a small smile, "better;" he replied "a lot better."

He grabbed hold of Conrart's elbow to steady him as the smaller man started up the stairs. He heard Conrart sigh, muttering under his breath about everything that had to be done.

"Did you get it done?" Yozak asked quietly.

He nodded, ignoring Conrart's curious look as he led him down the corridor and up another flight of stairs. "I have something I need to show you." He said simply as he carefully steered Conrart away from the corridor that would have led him to his old rooms.

Conrart nodded, "okay but can we be quick? I have to get an idea of what I need to do to turn my office into a nursery and then I really think I should see Gisela, I – I need to talk to her about something."

Gwendal smiled. "Don't worry after I've shown you what I need to you can lie-down and I'll go get Gisela for you."

He led Conrad and Yozak into the royal wing and down the hall, until he finally came to the outside door of Conrart's new quarters. Deftly he pulled the keys out of his coat pocket and handed them to Conrart. "go ahead open it."

Conrart gave him a confused look but did as he was told walking into his new rooms. After a second he froze and looked around. They done their best to put everything almost exactly where it had been in his old rooms, so the room looked like a larger replica of Conrad's old living room – right down to the man's favorite squashy armchair.

"I- I don't know what to say." Conrart breathed quietly.

Wolfram appeared in the doorway to Conrart's new office, "then don't say anything."

"Just enjoy it." Yuri said, stepping out of the nursery where he'd been busy hanging soft decorations on the walls.

Gwendal smiled at the look on Conrart's face, gently took his little brother's elbow and led him into the master bedroom; he led him past the huge four poster bed and into the smaller nursery connected to it. "The baby can sleep here until you're ready to move her into one of the other four rooms – not including your office."

He watched quietly as Conrart walked slowly through the room running his hands over the smoothly finished surfaces of the newly made baby furniture. Gwendal blinked taken completely aback when he suddenly had his arms full of his quietly crying little brother.

"Thank you," Conrart said quietly. "Thank you all so much."

Gwendal awkwardly rubbed Conrart's back. "Why don't you lie-down and rest. Yozak and I will go get Gisela."

Conrart nodded quietly and climbed up into his bed and leaned back against his pillows.

Yozak moved forward grabbed a few pillows from the other side of the bed and placed them at the foot of the bed, before deftly lifting Conrart's feet and gently removing his boots. Carefully he set Conrad's feet down on top of the pillows. "When I get back I'll rub your feet, rest now Conrart, Gwendal and I will get Gisela."

"Thank you, for everything Yozak." Conrad replied quietly. "I love you."

Yozak smiled lightly, before gently kissing Conrad's forehead. "I love you to." he said simply before turning and following Gwendal out of the room.

~~~***~~~

There you go another chapter. I'm not all that happy about it but here it is. Sorry it's so late, I've been running around like a demented Chihuahua chasing my own tail of late. Anyway read and review please.


	9. Chapter 9

~~~***~~~

Day 335, 1700hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak Gurrier smiled as he walked down the halls of covenant castle with Gwendal at his side. They were headed for Gisela's office, to get the healer for Conrad. Still he couldn't help smiling – very, very soon he would be married to Conrart, with a baby on the way – heralding things yet to come.

Conrart was healing that, and the safety of their child was all he really cared about. But still he couldn't help imagining what their life would be like together. How many children would they have? He'd always wanted a big family – but honestly right now he didn't care about that at all. If the small child currently growing in his mate's body was the only child they ever had he would be more then content.

"I know the point is rather moot now, but as an older brother I feel compelled to ask – what are your intentions towards my little brother?" Gwendal's question dragged him up out of his thoughts.

"I intend to marry him, be there for him and raise our child together, Gwendal, nothing else. That and I intend to protect both him and that child with everything I am." Yozak paused briefly and then he added. "I love them; you have nothing to fear from me. I will do everything in my power to keep them both safe."

Gwendal nodded, "alright, custom demands that the courting period last at least a year before any wedding plans can be made. I can organize a wedding in two weeks, so the two of you will be wedded in a year and two weeks' time. That should give us time to put together a wedding worthy of the second son of one of this country's former queens."

Yozak drew up short and turned to face Gwendal. "If we follow custom I'll have to wait seven years to formally adopt our child, I'm not willing to wait that long. Conrad still has nightmares about that bastard coming back; only now, they've expanded to include that bastard killing our child. He also worries about what will happen if that bastard gets hold of his child, he's well aware of the fact that he's the child's mother and that the law favors the father in cases where the parents aren't married. I want the power to protect my child Gwendal. I want to be able to give Conrart piece of mind, and I want to be able to protect my family. In order to do that I need to be able to adopt our child as so as possible – by law I have to be wedded to Conrad in 6 weeks time at the very latest, for that to happen, please Gwendal, have us properly married before then. Gisela said Conrad could be in danger of delivering early. Please Gwendal I'm begging you, for Conrart's piece of mind if not my own, schedule the wedding for as soon as possible."

He had more to say, actually, he had planned-out two separate speeches – both intended to either beg or bully Gwendal into marring him and Conrart as soon as possible. He never got the chance to employ either of them.

Gwendal held up his hand. "Alright two weeks, I can set up a wedding in two weeks time. However in order for that to happen, you need to plead your case to the Great One and Ulrike. Have you forgotten about the obstacle of having to have no contact with Conrart for the two weeks before the wedding, or for that matter, the larger obstacle of having to consummate the marriage?"

Yozak shook his head. "that last one's not an obstacle at all Gwendal, Conrad has always preferred a specific role and while neither he nor I am even remotely interested in the whole Dominance and Submission thing, we have mostly set rules about who does what in bed. As such the law is very specific. It states that 'the man or in this case the 'seme' only has to find pleasure in his wife's or in this case the uke's body.' Forgive me for being crude but I can do that without touching Conrart." He meant it too; just the sight of Conrad's pleasure was enough for him.

Gwendal sputtered and looked at him for a moment before inclining his head.

For a moment they walked in silence before Gwendal asked "tell me how you proposed?"

Yozak smiled and launched into the tale, telling Gwendal of the night he'd asked Conrart to marry him, starting his tale with his pressing his face against Conrad's belly, and ending it with them cuddling in bed. He left out the fact that they'd been nude at the time; however he couldn't help noticing the fact that Gwendal looked both alarmed and angry.

For a moment Gwendal said nothing, and then he asked in a deceptively calm tone of voice. "Do you understand the significance of his dropping to his knees and allowing you to put that pendant around his neck?"

Yozak blinked, "Please tell me there isn't some overly obscure noble custom behind his reaction."

"By going to his knees and letting you put the pendent on him Conrad was swearing his submission to you. In a sense you essentially own him, he has no right to deny you sex, so long as you keep your end of the proverbial bargain and provide him with physical safety from anyone else. He essentially made the promise Aisen wanted, only he submitted himself to you, and not that bastard." He paused for a second before adding. "If you ever abuse that I'll –"

He didn't get any further then that because Yozak exploded. "He did what?! How could he do something so – so...? Ugh, I don't even know how to describe this! Damn it, I don't want a submissive – plaything! I want my mate! I want Conrad my Conrad, h – how could he do something like this? Is he really that damned broken? Oh Great One he's been acting really submissive of late! Damn it, would he have submitted to Aisen if he'd had to deal with that bastard for a longer period of time?"

"Yozak!" Gisela hollered from her office a few doors down the hall. "Get your ass in here this instant!"

Yozak cringed but did as he was told.

Gisela glanced up from her desk as he and Gwendal entered her office. "Close the door." She ordered sharply.

Gwendal closed the door quickly behind them.

"Now what's this about?" Gisela asked, folding her arms in a manner that told her 'guests' that they'd better have a very good reason for the scene they'd been causing.

Sighing Yozak told her about Conrad's current behavior.

Once he was done, she sighed. "You are not the father of Conrad's child and you've been intimate for a long time to the point that the mate-bond has already formed, in addition to that you are not married and didn't seem to plan on marrying anytime soon – as such I didn't feel the need to tell you about this. However, I will tell you now.

"In men the process of getting pregnant and carrying the child to term is a lot more taxing then it is for a woman and most men find themselves a bit more dependent upon their spouse then they normally would be. The situation is further exasperated if pregnancy happens before the mate bond has a chance to develop. It starts to form after the first 6 years. If and usually when that occurs the carrying male instinctively becomes more submissive to the child's father.

"To put it bluntly, if Conrad wasn't already mated to you, he would have submitted himself physically to Aisen the first time the bastard demanded it of him." she took a breath and held Yozak's gaze. "Conrad is stubborn, but that wouldn't have given him the strength to hold out against his instincts for long.

"His bond to you gave him the strength to hold back those instincts. After you came home you probably noticed that there were times when he was behaving very submissively. You probably just wrote it off as a side effect of the rape, and in some ways it was. However, the rest of it was instinctive. As long as you were acting a little bit more aloofly then you normally would around him he was able to hold those instincts at bay. However the moment you showed that pendant to Conrart you asserted your dominance. You declared your intention to take Conrad as your mate, and completed the already mostly formed mate-bond. Conrad's instincts went into overdrive.

"Instead of just submitting to you on things that have to do with the baby or if you wanted … well… Conrad is instinctively trying to appease you. The fact of the matter is that you are not the one who sired this child, and instinctively Conrad is trying to show you that he can keep this child and do his duty to you. At this point … even if he's still terrified of the act, if you were to ask it of him he'd probably let you have intercourse with him. Right now, all you can do is maintain that you still want a marriage of equals.

"Be firm but gentle with him when on the little things he fights you about, but only if they actually matter. From what you've told me Conrad is being extremely submissive on the big things but oddly stubborn about little things that seem oddly inconsequential. Like the battle you had with him over wanting him to take a nap, or the arguments you've gotten into about not letting him lift things.

"He's testing you, he's trying to see where the boundaries lie now that your relationship has changed. Basically, he's trying to see if you're going to demand a dominant/submissive relationship from him since he's carrying another man's child.

"As I said earlier, be gentle but firm in the things you really want him to do, ask his opinion and gently assert the fact that you want an equal not a submissive. He'll come around but it will take time." She offered him a gentle smile before asking what they'd originally come down to see her about.

~~~***~~~

Day 335, 1746hrs

~~~***~~~

Conrad sighed as Gisela left his new rooms. It was a bit of a relief to learn that the feelings he was currently having were normal. Gisela had examined both him and the baby before pronouncing herself satisfied and had even given him permission to go shopping tomorrow – as long as he took it easily. She'd also encouraged him to try fighting his instincts a little bit more around Yozak. She'd gently reminded him that Yozak loved him and always had loved him as an equal.

He – mostly – believed her

But there was a small part of him that was screaming that he had to appease Yozak, had to submit to his mate.

"Conrart," Yozak said quietly settling himself down onto the bed beside him. "Can we talk?"

Slightly alarmed by Yozak's words, Conrad nodded meekly and grasped at his pendent in a manner reminiscent of a small child clinging to his blanket.

Yozak seemed to notice his ill ease, and carefully wrapped him in his arms. "It's about the wedding. You've been very meek, and actually at times you've been downright submissive. So I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to be. I love you and I love the child growing in your body. Nothing –and I mean nothing –is going to change that!"

"I spoke with Gwendal earlier and he told me what it meant when you dropped to your knees and let me put that pendant on you. I just wanted to tell you, I don't want that. I want my mate. I want the beautiful, stubborn, headstrong, kind and gentle man I fell in love with. I want you, the real you. I want a marriage of equals and I will accept nothing less. This docile person is not the man I fell in love with. That's who I want to marry – my best friend, my lover, and my mate. I'll always be here for you. I love you, with all of my heart."

Conrad couldn't help it he started to cry, turning his head he hid his face in the shelter of Yozak's strong shoulder. He stiffened slightly then relaxed when Yozak pulled him up into his lap, whispering words of love and comfort until he finally fell asleep.

~~~***~~~

Day 336, 0946hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak sighed as he walked up to the altar of the Great One and knelt before the dais. He was well aware of the fact that both Lady Ulrike and His Eminence the Great Sage, Ken Murata where in the room with him though they both kept to the back.

It took him the better part of an hour to fully explain the situation the softly Cascading Waterfall that dominated the room. It was utterly humiliating, to be sitting there before an audience (for all intents and purposes) talking to himself. However it was the only way to have the courting customs and noble traditions waved without the humiliation of a 'Sword-point Wedding'. Conrad deserved far better, he deserved to have every custom observed however they couldn't wait that long. So here he was making his plea to the Great One in the hopes that the long dead king would take pity upon his humble family. Take pity upon Conrad, and the child he was carrying.

Once he'd finished explaining the situation, and begging to have courting and consummating customs waved, he sat back on his haunches and waited. In a few minutes he would have his answer from Ulrike and the Great Sage.

A minute passed in silence before, he heard a voice from directly behind him. "Granted," the man said laying his hand on Yozak's shoulder.

It took everything Yozak had not to jump through the roof, at that gentle touch. He hadn't realized anyone else was there let alone standing directly behind him.

"Rise Yozak," the man said pausing only long enough for him to do as he was bid and turn to face him. "Your intentions are honorable and pure; go home to your family."

The Great One paused, "Take good care of that child, her soul was ever meant to be your child – as was her brother's. Even if things didn't go entirely according to plan, she is yours, as she was meant to be."

Yozak filed that bit of information away for further analysis at a later date.

For now he had other things to worry about; such as preparing for his wedding and for the arrival of his first child.

~~~***~~~

Day 342, 1906hrs

~~~***~~~

Aisen was furious as he glanced around the only brothel in this cursed small town of this cursed human territory, which catered to his taste. Young men. He couldn't wait to work his frustrations about that Lying, conniving, and worthless, whoring, tease of a filthy half-breed out on one of this _establishment's _whores.

The problem was he couldn't find one that suited his purposes. He had this problem in every brothel he visited. While that… that lying worthless piece of half-breed filth was very plain, it was hard to find a suitable whore who resembled him enough for him to be able to truly work out his frustrations.

That one had hair the wrong shade of brown. The hair was two long, the eyes to far apart or close together. Sometimes the face was perfectly heart-shaped as opposed to being just slightly to long for the term 'heart-shaped face' to fit. But no matter how many different whores he went to no matter how many allowed him to work out his frustrations on their pathetic human bodies – one thing remained the same. Not one of them had the slight flare to the hips that was so distinctive about that worthless lying piece of filth!

That flare should have tipped him off to the fact that the man was little more than a brothel-boy himself. But love had gotten in the way of sense and he'd paid dearly for his lapse in his ability to judge character in the end. Weller that filthy half-breed noble whore – had cried rape the second his reputation was at stake.

Aisen snorted in disgust. He knew the whore liked it rough. Knew the man relished every second Aisen had his hard member buried in his quivering hole. He knew the man had enjoyed his rough actions and the truly violent way they'd played rape over and over again that night and through part of the next morning. He'd lied to save his reputation – nothing more.

As soon as his 18 years were up he'd make that filthy half-breed wish he'd taken him up on his offer of marriage. He had no choice but to marry the whelp now. He couldn't let his only child grow up a bastard and he defiantly couldn't turn down the wealth, power and political ties of the Weller family name. But from the day they married that whore was going to have to work for the privilege of even being aloud in the same room as his only child. He couldn't have that morally delinquent half-breed sullying his child's mind with immoral ideas now could he? Besides, what better way for the man to pay for his sins then to become a slave in his own household?

Yes, he would take the filthy half-breed every night, as well as whenever he felt it like during the day. He would see how long it took to fuck the worthless piece of shit to death. The best part was as soon as that was done, he'd inherit the Weller lands – as regent to his son of course.

Finally, he saw him a young man plying his trade off in some corner. It didn't take him long. He had the man in his lap, letting him feel his straining erection. "How much for a night of your company?"

"5 coopers," the whore replied gyrating his hips causing delicious friction.

Aisen snorted and pressed 2 coopers into the man's hand. "You aint pretty enough to be worth more than 2 boy."

"I'll not be as cheap as all that." The man replied skillfully using his body to torment him as he spoke. "4"

Aisen snorted "3" he countered.

The young man sighed, "3.5, not a cooper penny less"

Aisen grumbled but handed over the money while rising to his feet effectively dumping the boy from his lap. "Take me to your rooms!" he demanded.

He was led down stairs into a basement room that had been modified so that expensive; floor to ceiling length mirrors adorned every wall and the ceiling.

He would have to have this done to the room he'd be keeping that worthless whore Conrad in once he got home. For now though the young man in front of him needed some good old fashioned discipline.

Discipline that would end with his whore bloody and bruised with his hard quivering member sheathed to the hilt in his abused and well used hole.

He didn't wait; he simply ripped off the other man's clothing, shed his own leggings and buried himself to the hilt in the other man's ass. He thrust in and out of the screaming man beneath him as hard and as fast as he could – ignoring the still foreign sensation of his missing testacies not slapping against the other man's ass.

~~~***~~~

A.N

Another chapter done read and review please blame any spelling or grammar errors on the fact that I'm averaging 8-9 hours of sleep weekly right now. I'm working on the next chapter but it might take some time I have a test on Monday and we're having a big sale this weekend. Seriously people review. Please? It gives my muse a kick and a cup of Joe.

S.N. (Sambi's Note)

Wow man Aisen is evil in this chap, who pissed you off recently?


	10. Chapter 10

~~~***~~~

Day 344, 1135hrs

~~~***~~~

Conrad couldn't help smiling as he walked (alright waddled) down the streets of the capital city. Yozak's arm had originally been slung lightly around his waist, but the red-head's arms were now occupied by a heavy load of fine silk baby clothing and bundles of other things Conrad had felt they needed for their unborn child – that Yozak insisted he not carry. In some ways it was funny – Yozak was fussing again, not allowing him to even lift a finger to carry his own purchases, it was rather cute actually. However it was also rather annoying.

Gwendal had offered to take him shopping but had eventually been persuaded to surrender that venture to his little brother's future husband.

So far they'd been all over the higher market district, and had procured, silk sheets, a silk lined blanket (just in case the 3 Conrad had embroidered earlier where dirty or something) a couple of velvet pads for the side of the cradle to protect their new born should she role to the side. Silk swaddling clothes, small socks and mittens, and a menagerie of different colored little bibs, assorted toys and anything else that struck the young aristocrat's fancy rounded out the packages Yozak was currently carrying.

The red-head couldn't help laughing at his mate's enthusiasm. Carefully he steered Conrad toward one of the few Carter's shops occupying this particular part of the city. It didn't take long to arrange to have the day's bounty delivered to the castle.

That done they headed off for lunch.

~~~***~~~

Day 344, 1208hrs

~~~***~~~

Aster glanced up at the sound of Yozak's voice. Startled both by the man's presence and by the fact that the soldier was refusing to give up his sword. Yozak had never given him any trouble before. Why was he starting now?

Sighing Aster wove his way through the dozens of noon time customers currently congregating in his tavern and made his way over to the door. He'd been pleasantly surprised by the return of the distinctive brown Coats of Conrart's men after his brother's trial. Once word had gotten out that he supported Conrad and not his own twin brother, Business – which had taken a serious dive after the incident with Aisen had come to light – had returned to normal.

It only took a minute to work his way over to the door.

He had to smile at the sight of Yozak, his sword at his side holding a heavily pregnant Conrart in his arms. Aster blinked, and then turned his attention to the guard who ensured no one bearing arms came into the Arms. "Bryan, I know these two, let Yozak keep his weapon."

Bryan nodded his understanding and let the two men in, "Aster," Conrad said as soon as he was close enough for it to be considered polite. "thank you."

Aster gave Conrad's shoulder a firm squeeze before asking calmly "Do you two want a private table, or will you sit with your men, Captain?"

Conrad offered him a small smile, and he couldn't help noticing that Conrad was gently caressing his stomach – much the same way his own wife had through her different pregnancies. "I think I'll sit with my men."

"Are you sure?" Yozak asked him quietly, well aware of the fact that crowds still made Conrad a bit uncomfortable.

Conrad nodded, "I – I think I can manage one meal in a c-crowded room, at c-crowded table. Thank you for asking though."

Yozak smiled and pulled the smaller man carefully into his arms, resting his hand lightly on Conrart's distended belly.

It was then that Aster noticed the pendent at Conrad's throat, he smiled gently turning his attention to Yozak. "I see you finally got up the guts to ask Conrad to marry you. Congratulations to the both of you." He said as he led them over to a small side table that was already occupied by three men in Conrad's uniform.

Daniel was the first to notice them, rising to his feet swiftly and saluting Conrad, Justin and Jason following his example the second they saw their captain. Aster pulled out one of the unoccupied chairs, and the men watched as Conrad sank gratefully down onto it. Yozak and the other three officer's quickly followed suit.

~~~***~~~

Day 344, 1321hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak rose to his feet, and carefully moved his chair around to the other side of the table. Gently he guided Conrad over so that his half asleep fiancé rested in his arms. A minute later Conrad was yawning into his tea, already mostly asleep. Gently he took the glass out of the smaller man's hand and set it on the table, after a moment's hesitation he pulled his fiancé up into his lap.

Conrad cuddled up against him, hiding his face in Yozak's shoulder.

Yozak couldn't help the small smile that graced his lips at the rather cute sight of Conrart trying to hide a yawn. "I think we'd better get you home." He told man gently.

"I'm not sleepy." Conrad replied, his voice clearly giving lie to his last statement.

Yozak noted the soft smiles of Conrad's men, but chose to ignore them. He was about to ask Jason if he would be kind enough to go and summon the carriage that had brought them into town in the first place when Aster appeared beside them.

"If he's sleepy you can take him upstairs and he can have a nap in one of the vacant rooms, free of charge." The man offered quietly.

It seemed like a good idea, but Conrad stiffened in his arms at the word upstairs. In some ways it was heart rending that Conrad would be afraid of going into the upstairs rooms of Aster's tavern. It was true they hadn't truly met and become friends with Aster until after the war but this Tavern and originally belonged to Helen's father. In some ways Aisen had been right, Conrad had lost his virginity in one of the upstairs rooms. Just, it had been one snowy day less than a week before the winter solstice 69 years ago, not that terrible night.

He and Conrad had rented room 13 every year on their anniversary and spent the night there. It looked like they wouldn't be doing that again.

"Aster, I thank you for the offer but that won't be possible," Yozak replied as he gently pulled Conrad closer to his chest. "However, could you possibly be kind enough to summon the carriage for Conrad and I?"

Aster smiled lightly at him, "I'll send one of the stable hands to fetch you that carriage."

"thank you" Conrart replied quietly from his place in Yozak's lap.

"You have my thanks as well." Yozak added, as he gently stroked Conrad's hair. "Go to sleep love," he told the brunet gently. "I've got you, you're safe."

Conrad cuddled closer to him, yawning cutely "I know." He whispered quietly, allowing himself to drift off.

~~~***~~~

Day 344, 1339hrs

~~~***~~~

By the time Aster alerted Yozak to the carriage's arrival Conrart was fast asleep in his arms. He rose carefully to his feet cradling his sleeping mate in his arms. Conrad didn't even stir as he carried him out of the Tavern and into the streets. He waited patiently for the doorman to open the carriage door, before climbing carefully into the plush interior. Deftly he arranged his mate amidst the plush velvet pillows and pulled a soft throw blanket up around the man's shoulder. Yozak smiled lightly as Conrart cuddled closer to his side.

After a few more moments Yozak sighed and stuck his head out of the window, curious about the delays – and blinked at the sight that met his eyes. Jason sat astride his big gray gelding. A glance out the opposite window reveled Justin, on his yellow mare. He couldn't help smiling at the sight of Conrart's men, offering their captain a small but formidable honor guard.

A moment later the carriage began to move forward, its unplanned guard moving along with it.

~~~***~~~

Day 344, 1400hrs

~~~***~~~

Gwendal smiled lightly, as he watched Yozak carefully pulling blankets up around Conrad's slim shoulders. "When you have a minute Yozak, I need a word with you." That said, he turned and left his little brother's bedroom.

A few minutes later, Yozak joined him in the living room. "What can I do for you, boss?" the red-head asked flippantly.

Gwendal sighed. "Yozak, you're marrying my little brother in less than a week's time. Loathed though I am to even bring up that bastard Aisen and what he did to my little brother. Something happened while I was escorting the son-of-a-flea-infested – mongrel-bitch out of our lands. Something I feel you should be apprised of."

Yozak blinked, than gestured to the couch. "What is it?" he asked fearing the worst.

Gwendal sighed before joining him on the sofa. "When we left for the border, Aisen – well the bastard wouldn't shut up. He kept talking about what he was going to do to that baby, and Conrart once he was free to come back. He kept threatening to kill the 'mongrel' child and get more children – children that where worthy of him on someone else. He also threatened to force Conrad to marry him so that he could get the Weller land's, titals, estates and everything else that goes with being a noble."

Gwendal took a breath and massaged the bridge of his nose briefly, before continuing. "In a week's time he won't be able to force Conrad into anything, so at least Conrad will be safe but Yozak, that child may still be in danger. I doubt Aisen will slay his only child, particularly not when it's the only child he's ever going to have – but still I thought you should know about the threat to your future child."

Yozak nodded, "thank you for the warning Gwendal." He said simply then with a small quark of the lips and a raised eyebrow. "Judging by your statement about my child being the only one Aisen will ever again sire I'm guessing you had something to do with the bastard's sudden sterility."

"If you're asking me whether I had a hand in Castrating the Bastard who hurt my little brother then I won't deny it." Gwendal replied, pausing briefly he added. "Worthless demented bastard squealed like a stuck pig, when I removed them!"

Yozak inclined his head briefly. "I'll still kill the bastard if he comes near my mate again. However I feel I should thank you for allowing me to have more time with my mate and unborn child. Since now I don't have to spend time hunting that Ass hole down so that I can remove him of a certain aspect of his anatomy."

Gwendal snorted, "You're welcome. Tell me, what did the two of you buy this morning?"

"A bit of this, and a bit of that – and anything else my pregnant mate decided the baby needed. Truthfully I think the only reason he didn't buy our baby a pony is because my arms where full." Yozak retorted lightly.

Gwendal gave a short bark of laughter, before pulling a small glass jar out of his pocket. "Care to explain this?" he asked firmly.

Yozak blinked, and carefully took the little jar of Rose Hip Oil out of Gwendal's hand and set it on the table – he'd bought that on his way home from the great one's temple. Only to discover it's sudden disappearance. It had really annoyed him since he'd spent what little money of his own that he had left after spending so much of it on a courting gift for Conrart and an assortment of interesting toys for their child. That little jar had cost him a month's pay – and after not working for as long as he had losing it had been a blow. Particularly when he was going to go out and buy another one to replace it – he was both annoyed with Gwendal and relieved.

"Rosehip Oil," He said firmly.

Gwendal glared at him. "I know what it is." He snapped, "What I want to know is why you have it when Conrart is heavily pregnant and clearly not ready for that sort of thing?"

Yozak Glared at his soon to be brother in law. "What kind of monster do you take me for?" he demanded, doing his level best to keep his voice quiet so that he wouldn't disturb the man sleeping in the next room. "I'm more than willing to wait for Conrad to be ready, healed and comfortable enough to come to me for anything physical. I've let him take the lead in almost everything. As for the rosehip oil, are you forgetting the fact that it has applications beyond that of an extremely expensive lubricant? Have you forgotten the fact that it can actually get rid of scars? Even pitted scars, like that damned bite mark on Conrad's shoulder? Or that it's good for reducing and removing stretch marks left over from a pregnancy? Truthfully I don't often think about the scar on Conrart's shoulder but it makes him uncomfortable. He feels like that Son of a Bitch branded him."

He sighed and held up the little Jar of oil. "This is my gift to him, removing that scar." He smiled lightly then added, "And the stretch marks while I'm at it."

Gwendal just stared at him for a minute before inclining his head. Without another word, he was gone -leaving Yozak standing alone in the living room.

Yozak shook his head and slowly made his way back into the bedroom and to his future husband's side. Carefully he slipped into bed beside him and rested his hand against the ever growing bulge of Conrad's stomach that was actually their unborn child.

A slight smile graced his lips when his child kicked his hand. He had to admit it had been rather startling a few days ago when Conrad had called him over just to show him the tiny foot pressing up against his stomach. But now, now he couldn't get enough of those tiny signs of life. he couldn't wait to meet his child.


	11. Chapter 11

Yozak sighed and let Lady Cecilia's tailor fuss over him. He'd been more than willing to get married in the same clothing Conrad had given him for Yuri's wedding. However Lady Cecilia insisted that that would be in bad taste for a noble wedding. Before he'd quite realized what was going on he'd found himself bullied into new clothing. All of it either silk, velvet or high quality leather. Well at least he wouldn't embarrass himself or Conrad on their wedding day.

~~~***~~~

Conrad Weller groaned as he looked at himself in the mirror, his tailors had done a wonderful job in creating wedding attire for him that didn't make him look like a cow, but still he felt awkward in his new wedding attire. He looked – well – pregnant! Great One he felt like a whale! What if Yozak took one look at him and ran screaming in the other direction? He lived in fear of the moment Yozak realized he was filthy. Of the moment the other man realized he was nothing but a worthless whore, whose illegitimate child he didn't want to deal with. He lived in fear of the moment Yozak realized he wanted nothing to do with him.

A single tear slid down his cheek, and he whipped it away with the back of his hand. Yozak and the rest of his family had told him time and again that this wasn't his fault.

He was trying to believe it he really was, but sometimes it was just so hard!

He swallowed and silently reminded himself that Yozak loved him. That the other man hadn't blamed him for Aisen's actions and neither should he. But still it was hard, sometimes he just felt so dirty.

He had to be strong.

He'd once advised Yuri that "by pretending we become*" so for know he would pretend that he wasn't filthy, wasn't terrified of the very idea of sex, let alone of the prospect of consummating his own marriage. Eventually it would be true.

"Enter," Conrad Called at the sound of someone knocking on his outer door.

It turned out to be Gwendal. "It's time," His elder brother said gently. "Yozak Just left for the temple with Wolfram and a few of his friends. Let's get you to your wedding shall we?"

Conrad smiled and carefully linked his arm with Gwendal's before waddling slowly out of his rooms and down to the courtyard, escorted and supported by his elder brother the entire way. "Where's Issy?" he asked after a moment.

Gwendal smiled at the mention of his own heavily pregnant mate. "She's waiting in the carriage for me. Mother and Yuri will be riding with you, under guard so the three of you will be safe."

"Thank you." Conrad replied quietly.

Gwendal glanced over at his little brother as they entered the courtyard; Conrad looked both happy and a little afraid. He paused pulling Conrad to a stop beside him. Gently he squeezed his little brother's shoulder. "You'll do fine, Yozak loves you and the baby – and I know that you love him. So you have nothing to worry about. Everything will be fine."

Conrad gave him a weak smile, "where you this nervous before your wedding?" he asked plaintively.

Gwendal laughed lightly. "Yes actually I was, everything will be fine."

"Thank you Gwen." Conrad replied quietly, as his elder brother helped him up into the carriage.

"You are very welcome Conrart. I'll see you at the temple."

~~~***~~~

Yozak shifted lightly from foot to foot waiting quietly for Conrad to make his way down the aisle. He did not want to admit it but he was nervous – today he was marrying the man of his dreams and in a few months' time they would have their first child. It was a life changing event. One he'd secretly dreamt of since before the first time he'd ever bedded Conrart. He remembered the night he'd taken Conrad's virginity, the flushed look on his face. He also remembered how his lover had panicked the morning after, as soon as he'd realized they'd had unprotected sex. He remembered sitting with Conrad in the office of a healer they'd gone to in the lower middle district, reassuring his friend that it took two to get pregnant and that if he had gotten him pregnant he would stand by him.

There hadn't been the need that night, thankfully, they were both far too young to handle the responsibility that came with children. Honestly before any of this happened he would have preferred to wait a few years, but Conrad was pregnant now. And the last few months had taught him that he was defiantly ready for children. Conrad had needed constant care, and a whole lot of help to get past everything. It had taken far more patience then he thought he'd had but they'd come through it the same way they'd come through everything – together.

It would take Conrad some time to heal completely. He knew that, and he was willing to wait and to just be there for his lover and their child.

It was odd, Conrad had been severely hurt, not only in body but in spirit, and yet in the aftermath he'd discovered something new about them both.

The sound of music playing drew him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see his fiancé coming slowly down the aisle. Conrad looked beautiful! He had the whole pregnant person glow, and a small but sincer smile on his face. But it was the look in his gorgous eyes that sent him back down the paths of memory lane.

Every single time he'd awoken with Conrad in his arms or tucked up against his chest flashed before his mind's eye. Everything from the numerous times he'd awoken several hours before dawn with Conrad in his arms, after a night spent platonically, sharing a tent with Wolfram and Yuri while doing their best not to tip off either their king or Conrad's little brother to their relationship. To the many, many times he'd made Conrad scream his name in pleasure, and listened to the truly erotic noises the other man made as they coupled. To that one time in a small inn in Caloria when Conrad had desperately not to make any noise as they made love since they were in a small room sandwiched between King Yuri, and Lady Florin .

Smiling he reached out and took Conrad's hand, leading him the rest of the way up the aisle, until they stood before lady Ulrike. Calmly he offered Lady Ulrike his hand since technically he was the 'man' in their relationship. Setting his teeth against the pain he allowed her to slit his palm open in a cresent shape pattern. It took every ounce of his will power not to attack the little orical when she repeated the action with Conrart.

He was supposed to put his hand in Conrad's now, pressing their torn flesh together, in a symbolic gesture of the fact that thy where about to become one. However now he deviated from the set tradition, noting the shock and confusion in Conrad's beautiful eyes as he carefully did what the great Sage had ordered him to do to keep their child safe.

Carefully he unbuttoned Conrad's coat and then he undid the buttons of Conrad's shirt, leaving the collar closed but leaving his stomach bare for everyone to see. Reaching out with his bloody hand he placed his palm on the very top of Conrad's baby bump and gently caressed Conrad's stomach and the child that lay within before quickly but gently drawing his hand down across the exposed flesh leaving a bloody trail behind.

"I Yozak Gurrier, hereby assert my authority as the rightful mate of Lord Conrad Weller, to forbid him to bear the child of another!" he said firmly, feeling his heart break when Conrad took a startled step back, horror, betrayal and fear shining in the depths of his eyes – where love and trust had been only a moment before.

Carefully he reached out and grabbed hold of the now trembling man's wrist, holding him gently but firmly in place. His cut palm still resting lightly on top of Conrad's swollen stomach. He swallowed, "73 years ago you surrendered your body to me for the first time, 60 yrs ago you gave me your word that I would be the only man ever to take you, ever to have you. Yet you stand before me today carrying the child of another." Yozak wanted to cry at the heart wrenching look Conrad was currently giving him. However he swallowed his feelings and plowed ahead carefully reciting the words he'd painstakingly memorized earlier that week.

"As Your mate I deny you the right to carry the child of one Aisen Esters, begotten through no fault of your own, to term. In difference to this, before the Great One, I claim this child as my own! From this day forward I hereby strip Aisen and his kin of any tie to this child. I also swear to all four elements and in the name of The Great One that this child will be raised as my own. In all things should it be male or female it will be treated as if it is of my blood and seed. In the name of The Great One so mote it be." Yozak swallowed his fears and looked Conrart in the eye, noting the other man's freely flowing tears.

At least he'd stopped shaking and trying to pull away.

"Accepted," two voices rang out from behind them and the entire audience gasped at the appearance of the Great one and the Great Sage.

"Conrart Weller, do you accept Yozak Gurrier's claim to your child?" the great one asked mildly.

When he answered Conrad's voice was shaking slightly. "I do."

The great one offered them both a small smile. "Then I bid you both – Continue."

Murata stepped forward and gently took Conrad's by the wrist, placing his bleeding palm into Yozak's, pressing their flesh together briefly before he produced a white silk scarf that he proceeded to bind their hands and wrist together with.

Yozak smiled at Conrad, and gently caressed his hand offering the man a little comfort, well aware of the fact that he'd likely just scared Conrad near to death. When they spoke the ritual words of matrimony in unison. "In the name of the Great One, And before all these people, I call upon the elements of water, fire, earth and air. I prey you bare witness to this union, and grant us the strength and wisdom we will need so that we may walk together, through trials and adversity from now until the end of our days. From this day forward I bind myself eternally to my partner. May friend and foe alike see and be met by our unity."

Glancing down Yozak noticed that the scarf wrapped around their hands and wrists had turned a brilliant shade of gold - announcing to the world that they were not only married but mated.

He smiled and gently drew Conrad into his arms. "I'm sorry if I scared you. Murata told me about that ritual a few days ago and you weren't allowed to know about it before I claimed the child. I'm so sorry I scared you like that. Can you ever forgive me?"

Conrad's answer was a kiss and three small words. "I love you."

Yozak beamed down at his mate, knowing Conrad had in fact forgiven him. He kissed Conrad gently on the forehead then on the lips whispering "I love you too," softly before carefully bending down to place a kiss on his mate's swollen stomach.

~~~***~~~

A.N

Please read and Review.


	12. Chapter 12

Yozak sighed as he looked down at his sleeping mate. They'd gotten married that morning, and they'd had to deal with a few minor complications. Somebody had taken it upon themselves to remind Conrart of the fact that their marriage had to be consummated. Conrad had, rather understandably, freaked out the second Yozak had gotten him alone. It had taken him the better part of an hour to calm his pregnant mate down, in the end he'd reassured the younger man that he was going to do nothing more to him the give him pleasure the same way he'd been for the past few months.

He'd gently pleasured Conrad, fully aware of the fact that since Conrad was the one who was pregnant that made him the 'dominant' in the eyes of their rather archaic laws, as such it meant that Conrad didn't necessarily need to even feel pleasure in there coupling tonight. Actually as the 'dominant' he was the only one actually required to orgasm that night. He'd fully intended to visit the bathroom later tonight after Conrad had fallen asleep to take care of that aspect of their new marriage. However he hadn't seen any reason to deny his mate pleasure.

He'd accepted the fact that Conrart was still too afraid for anything more than that, so it had come as quite a surprise when Conrart had attempted to return the favor.

Things had actually gone well until he'd inadvertently screwed it up. It had been so long since the last time Conrad had touched him sexually that he hadn't stopped to think about how badly Conrad might react to something he did almost instinctively every time his mate took his quivering member into his mouth. He cradled the back of Conrad's neck and the base of his skull gently in his hand. This time however the gentle touch had terrified Conrad.

Needless to say things hadn't gone any further.

Yozak kissed his sleeping mate gently on the forehead, before carefully slipping out of bed, and padding almost silently across the cold floor into the bathroom. He settled himself down on the bench off to the side of their bath. He closed his eyes and thought about Conrart, not the Conrart who currently slept in the other room. But his Conrad, as he'd been before Aisen's abuse. He was slowly getting his beloved mate back, but he couldn't wait for the day that Conrad would be the calm, self-assured and proud man he'd once been.

Once he'd finished, he cleaned himself up, pulled his sleeping pants back on and left the room, intent on curling back up with his mate. To his shock he found Conrart sitting up in bed, investigating their sheets. "Honey?" he asked gently.

"I'm sorry." Conrad replied quietly, "I'm so, so sorry."

Yozak sighed, carefully he gathered his mate into his arms, "I have a feeling I know what you're apologizing for, but please just to be sure we're not having two entirely different conversations, what are you apologizing for?"

Conrad glanced up at him, before returning to his intense study of the bedspread. "For not doing my duty to you."

"I never expected you to," Yozak replied gently lifting Conrad's chin, to look him in the eye. "The fact that you even tried means the world to me Love. Give it time, you'll heal. When you're ready, truly ready, we'll work on fixing that part of our relationship. Until then I want you to remember that I love you enough to wait. Baby steps Love - just be patient and take baby steps and we'll get you there. I promise, we'll take things at the pace you need. Get some sleep."

He carefully lowered them both onto the bed curling up on his side with Conrad in his arms, listening quietly to the sound of Conrad's breathing as it evened out and his mate finally slipped back into the realm of sleep.

Only then did he shed the tears he'd been forcing himself to keep at bay for a very long time, Conrad was healing, slowly but surely healing, but it was times like this that it became blatantly obvious just how broken the poor man still was.

~~~***~~~

Day 528, 1700hrs

~~~***~~~

Yozak yawned as he made his way back to his shared quarters; he was still technically second in command of Conrad's men, and today he'd taken up the duty to those men that he'd recently been neglecting in favor of putting his shattered mate back together. However Conrart had come an astoundingly long way since their marriage, and he'd been healing by leaps and bounds in the three days since their Daughter's birth. It was odd that little baby had given Conrart something to live for in the aftermath of his rather brutal rape, but now it was like she'd breathed new life into her mommy along with her first breaths. Conrad was a wonderful and devoted parent doting on their newborn like any new mommy, but it was Ysolde who was healing Conrart. She was a balm on his injured soul, what little healing he had left to do was somehow being hurried along by that squirming little bundle of joy that had happily moved into their lives.

According to Gisela both Conrad and Ysolde where doing well and both were thriving. It was great to see Conrad so happy, however it was odd he saw very little of Aisen in the child, apart from gender and the eyes she could have been Conrad reborn. Even Gwendal and Lady Cecilia had commented on how much she resembled her mommy. Gisela had explained that it was largely due to the fact that Conrart had never allowed Aisen to touch his stomach after the child had been conceived, so she hadn't been exposed to Aisen at all past the fact that the seed planted in Conrart's womb had been his. Everything else however had come from two sources; all of the energy the child needed to survive and develop had come from either Conrart or Yozak.

He smiled slightly as he finally reached their door, all he wanted to do was relax, but that was unlikely with a three day old baby waiting for him just beyond the door.

To his utter shock he found Conrart lying in bed propped up on a mound of pillows, little Ysolde cradled lightly in his sleep slackened arms. The infant rested lightly on his chest, suckling quietly. Yozak smiled and waited patiently for his daughter to stop nursing before gently gathering the small child in his arms. Conrad was obviously still exhausted. Not surprising really. Deftly he burped the child, and wrapped her up in a small fuzzy blanket before carrying her over to the window seat. He settled himself down, waiting quietly for the child to fall asleep again. After a few seconds of silence he started to hum. It was an old melody. One his mother had sung to him to get him to sleep many, many years ago when they'd been trapped in 'that village'. He didn't really remember the words but the soft, gentle melody had long ago been branded into his very soul.

He hummed it for his own child now thinking of his mother as he watched her namesake's beautiful purple eyes drift shut. Latter when Ysolde was old enough to travel – he'd take his entire family to visit his mother's grave. He wanted to introduce, and even show off his family for the long dead woman who'd been his entire world all those long years ago. It was safe to do so now, the territory that had once been that 'damned village' was no longer strictly a part of Big Shimeron, less than a year before Ysolde's conception King Belar had, rather stupidly, attacked his neighbor.

Still, maybe he would wait until the small bundle of joy currently napping in his arms was older.

He glanced over at his sleeping husband, highly amused by his situation. Both mother and child were sleeping the sleep of the exhausted, after a few minutes internal debate he rose to his feet and placed his sleeping child down in her bassinet and tucking her in. That done, he got himself ready for an early night and joined his husband on the bed. With Conrart securely nestled into his arms he drifted off to sleep enjoying the idea of a much needed nap.

~~~***~~~

Conrart Yawned, and leaned back in his seat, back to the wall as he gazed quietly out the window. Ysolde was awake and squirming in his arms, looking beautiful in the tiny white, lavender embroidered formal dress she was currently wearing. It was two long for her, covering her tiny sock and soft silk slipper clad feet. He was just waiting for Yozak to finish dressing, and then they would be leaving for the Great One's Temple. Today was Ysolde's naming ceremony. It was a very important day by tradition the only people allowed to even see the little child before her naming ceremony was her family, until that day no one else was given the child's name and the name was not to be spoken outside the immediate family until the child was three months old. So while his entire family knew her name, no one baring himself and Yozak had spoken it aloud beyond the morning of her birth.

Yozak padded over to him looking splendent in one of the many outfits the tailor had made for him after their wedding. Yozak had of course protested but he'd wanted his mate to have nice clothing, both formal and a few outfits that while being almost identical to his typical attire, where made out of far better material. The man still often wore his old clothing, Yozak had mentioned that the new clothing while nice, made him feel awkward. He was used to wearing fancy highborn lady's clothing, but apparently gentleman's clothing was going to take some getting used to.

The red-head smiled down at him before sitting down beside him on the window seat and pulling on his soft indoor boots. That done, he held out his arms for their daughter.

Conrart carefully handed over the cooing little infant, stretched and then quickly pulled on his own boots before making his way into the living room to collect the small bag full of things Ysolde might need during the 2 hours they would be out.

~~~***~~~

Conrad held his squirming child carefully in his arms as he waited for Lady Ulrike to begin the ceremony. His entire family and all of Yozak's and his own friend's where in attendance, even Aster and the now very heavily pregnant Lady Isabella von Voltaire.

Ulrike began the ceremony in a manner that was quite prolific in all Mazoku ceremonies, she called upon the Great One, the four sacred directions and the elements to bear witness to the event then she turned her attention to the child in Conrad's arms holding out her arms. Carefully he placed the child into her waiting arms, and took a step back, coming to stand beside Yozak who wrapped him in his arms.

Ulrike surveyed them quietly for a moment, before addressing the gathered people, ***"We gather today to bless a child," she said simply. "A new life that has become part of our world. We gather today to name this child. To call a thing by name is to give it power, and so today we shall give this child a gift. We will welcome her into our hearts and lives and bless her with a name of her own."

She then turned her attention to Conrad and Yozak, when she spoke again her words were strong and her voice solemn. "To be a parent is to love and nurture, to shelter and protect, to lead your child to be a good person. It is to guide them along the right path and to both teach them and learn from them. It is to rein them in, and to give them wings. It is to smile at their joy, and weep at their pain. It is to walk beside them, and then one day allow them to walk alone." She paused briefly, before adding "To be a parent is a great gift, a gift given to you by the Great One, it is also the greatest responsibility he could ever place upon your shoulders. Do you now willingly accept this gift and the responsibility it entails? Should you wish it this honor and this responsibility can be turned over to another."

Neither Conrart nor Yozak hesitated, they answered the ritual words in perfect unison, "To be a parent is a great gift we have given ourselves; and the greatest responsibility we shall ever have. It is a gift and a responsibility we will except and cherish with all our hearts." ***

That done, Ulrike calmly handed their infant child back to Conrart. "Have you chosen this child's Guardians?" she asked formally.

Yozak smiled, "yes we have." He said simply his eyes softening as he watched his mate fussing over the child in his arms. "We have chosen the first born son of my mate's mother and his lady wife to Guard our child when we cannot."

"Then let the child's Guardians now step forward."

Gwendal and Issy rose to their feet and made their way up onto the dais.

Ulrike surveyed them for a moment, as the voice of the Great One she had the right to deny them the right to be named the child's guardians. After a moment she nodded. "You stand beside Conrart and Yozak, for the love of this child. Will you tell the Great One who you are?"

"We are Gwendal and Isabella von Voltaire, chosen to be Guardians for this child." they answered in unison.

"To be a child's Guardian is to love and nurture, to show guidance and counsel. It is to help the child make choices should she need assistance. It is to be a second mother and father and to be there when called upon." Lady Ulrike informed them solemnly before inquiring, "do you except this honor and responsibility, gifted to you by the parents of this child?"

"We do." Gwendal replied somberly, before quietly approaching his younger brother and placing a gentle kiss upon his niece's forehead.

That done he led his wife back to their seats.

Lady Ulrike stepped aside as Murata came forward. The Great Sage cared with him a small vile of rosemary oil, slowly and with much dignity he approached Conrart and the baby still cradled in his arms, carefully he tipped a single drop out of the little jar and allowed it to fall on the child's forehead right between her eyes. When he spoke his voice was strong and pure. "May the Great One keep this child pure and perfect, and let anything that is negative stay far beyond her world. May you always have good fortune, may you always have good health, may you always be joyful, and may you always have love in your heart. You are known to the Great One and to us as Ysolde Daughter of Conrart and Yozak Weller-Gurrier .This is your name, and it is powerful. Bear your name with honor, and may you be blessed on this and every other day."

~~~***~~~

Two short hours after Ysolde's naming ceremony found Conrart and Yozak standing outside of Gwendal's quarters with the rest of their family waiting for the birth of the next child of the von Voltaire line. Thankfully it sounded as though Issy was having a much easier labor then her brother in law, and less than an hour later they were ushered into the room to meet the newest member of their family, Arthur Finnly von Voltaire was a beautiful baby boy who strongly resembled his father.

~~~***~~~

Conrart was brought out of his musings by the soft sound of the door opening, Yozak was home it was time to see if he really was ready to be intimate with his mate again. Oddly he was both calm and terrified by the thought, both anticipant and hesitant.

Gathering his courage he rose to his feet and greeted his husband with a kiss.

"Where's Ysolde?" Yozak asked quietly.

Conrart swallowed, stepped on his fear and smiled up at his mate. "Mother's watching her," he replied softly. "I asked her if she would babysit for us until the morning. I-I told her I wanted some time alone with you." He looked down briefly, feeling his ears heat. "I-I think I, I'm finally ready to be intimate again. Please I-I want to feel you, I want you to – claim me again. That is, if you want to?"

When he met Yozak's eyes again Yozak was smiling, a single tear falling down his cheek. "I thought you'd never ask." He said simply before scooping him up in his arms and carrying him into their bedroom.

~~~***~~~

A.N

The words to the naming ceremony are actual words from a pagan naming ceremony I just tweaked and rearranged things to suit my evil needs. No offence intended. Warning SEX IN NEXT CHAPTER!! Please read and review. It gives my muse a kick in the pants.


	13. Chapter 13

Conrart tried vainly to suppress his fear when he felt his back hitting the soft comforter of their bed. Yozak climbed up with him straddling his hips, though he kept the majority of his weight off of him. The red-head leaned over him, gently kissing his lips and for one brief moment he saw Aisen, felt the man's weight crushing him and his lips crushing his own in a forceful kiss he couldn't escape. Terror gripped him, and he forced it down.

_This is Yozak, _he reminded himself, _ I'm safe. I'm safe, this is Yozak, he won't hurt me!_

Yozak must have sensed his unease, because the gentle caresses and feather light kisses ceased. He looked up and met Yozak's sad blue eyes.

~~~***~~~

Yozak felt a stab of hatred and anger that had absolutely no place in his and Conrad's bed. _If I ever see Aisen again I'm going to kill him! _He thought viciously. He gazed sadly down at his husband. "Conrart," he said softly. "Can you try something for me?"

Conrad nodded slowly.

"I want you to concentrate on my eyes. I love you and I will never hurt you. The same rules we've always had still apply. If you want me to slow down tell me, and I'll slow down. If you want me to speed up, tell me and I'll speed up. If it hurts, tell me and I'll stop. If you just want me to stop, if you're just not ready for this, tell me, I'll understand and I'll stop. I don't care how far we've gone, ask me to stop and I will stop."

Conrad offered him a small smile, "I know, I just, I can't help being a little afraid."

"How about this, do you remember that day 3 years ago in our favorite sun lit clearing?" Yozak continued when Conrad nodded. "I want you to picture that day. My lips brushing your skin as I kiss my way from your ear, along the line of your jaw, to your lips and slowly down the curve of your delicate throat." He mirrored his words with his actions, slowly kissing his way down Conrad's throat, until he'd reached the buttons of his lover's collar. "The midday sun caressing your skin as I slowly disrobe you. My hand's worshiping every inch of you as I free it from the confines of your uniform."

Slowly Conrart relaxed against him and just as he finished stripping the other man of his shirt, he felt Conrad's nimble fingers working the buckle of his belt. "Thank you, but let's stay with the here and now."

Slowly he stripped Conrart of his pants, and ran his hands across the other man's thighs, he gasped as Conrad ran his hands across the plains of his back; gently caressing. Slowly he shifted his weight so that he straddled his now naked lover's hips; shrugging out of his shirt as Conrad pulled it from his body.

In moments they were both naked.

For a minute he paused and simply admired his mate's naked body. He'd seen Conrart naked, many, many times. He'd bathed with him and made love to him more times than he could count. This time however felt different somehow. He was oddly reminded of their first time; Conrad had been hesitant then as well, although it was a different kind of hesitation. He gazed lovingly into Conrad's beautiful brown eyes. He saw love and trust in those silver flecked brown eyes, but he also saw the fear that lurked beneath the surface.

Reaching out he gently caressed Conrad's cheek, and leaning forward, gave his mate a chaste kiss on the forehead, before claiming Conrad's mouth with his own. After that he began to kiss his way down the plains of Conrad's body. Gently he caressed his mate's body taking in the slight changes that 3 years and pregnancy had wrought on Conrad's body.

The man was beautiful and nothing would ever change that.

The differences were subtle, slight and to anyone else unnoticeable. However he noticed the slight widening of the hips, the slight softening of the muscle tone around his abdominal muscles and pecs. Conrart whimpered and bucked beneath him, moaning softly in desire.

Returning to Conrad's mouth he allowed his tongue to explore the warm hot cavern of the other man's sweet mouth. After a few minutes he moved on liking his way down Conrad's neck, moving backwards until he was leaving a wet trail down to one spot he knew from experience, would drive the other man crazy with desire.

Conrad's nipples were very sensitive- he always exploited that.

He offered his lover a devilish smile and began to gently caress one peaked nipple with his tongue. Mirroring the actions on the other nipple with the fingers of his left hand – Conrart moaned and arched his back at the feeling. After a moment he dipped his head down further and gently nipped the hardened nub, before sucking the little thing into his mouth.

Without thinking he began to suckle on that pert little nipple –

And choked as he got a mouthful of an oddly sweet liquid!

He coughed and sat up; noting Conrad's now very read cheeks. It took him a moment to realize exactly what had happened and exactly what that sweet liquid was – actually it took seeing the liquid dribbling slowly down his lover's breast for him to grasp the fact that it was milk.

He snorted in mild amusement and admonished himself not to do that again until their daughter no longer needed to be breastfed. Leaning in he kissed his mate, claiming his mouth again, gently reassuring him that he was neither angry, put off or disgusted. Conrad's finger's tangled in his hair briefly before he went back to kissing and caressing his way across the other man's body. Pointedly ignoring the other man's long eloquent member, he moved on to Conrad's leanly muscled thighs. Finally he moved one hand over to grasp the root of Conrad's erection and ran his hand up to the now weeping tip. He caressed Conrart's firm ass with his free hand, gently squeezing. Slowly, gently enticingly, he moved his hand around to cup and gently fondle Conrart's balls.

Lowering his head he licked the weeping tip gently, never once letting up with his hands. Conrart was gasping groaning at his ministrations. He brought Conrart to the brink of orgasm and backed off a grand total of three times before he moved away again.

Conrart moaned in frustration – but he knew what was about to happen when Yozak's weight shifted as the other man lifted himself up onto his knees and he began to gently urge him to turn over. Swallowing his fears Conrart shifted around until he was lying quietly on his side. At Yozak's gently prompting touch, he brought one knee up, giving his lover access to more of his body.

That accomplished Yozak left the bed and went over to his nightstand, opening the top drawer he pulled out a small pot of lubricant. Conrart offered him a small smile as the man returned to the bed. Yozak kissed him gently before settling himself down behind him. The red head leaned over and placed a kiss on his shoulder, settling the jar down beside them. Yozak gently set about kneading the tense muscles of his back and shoulders, working his way down to the curve of his hips and the small of his slender back.

Conrad gasped as Yozak gently brushed his buttocks in a feather light caress of his fingers. He felt the other man's fingers trailing gently across the cleft of his cheeks, and he tried vainly to suppress a whimper of fear. Yozak paused briefly, before leaning in and kissing him on the small of the back. "Are you sure?" he asked gently.

Conrart swallowed and suppressed his fears. "I'm sure." He replied quietly. "Just, be gentle, please."

Yozak leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek. "I promise I won't hurt you." He whispered before going back to what he'd been doing only moments before.

Yozak reached over and grabbed the jar he'd set on the bed only a short time ago. Carefully he uncapped it, and dipped his fingers into the lavender scented lubricant within. He coated three fingers of his right hand liberally with the stuff, before capping the jar and gently parting his mate's cheeks.

Conrart was afraid, he could see that much and honestly he wasn't sure if he should be doing this just yet. What if Conrad thought this was something he had to do? More often than not, after that bastard had hurt his lover he was the one stopping things before they went to far. Conrart had always been stubborn, and his determination to 'do his duty as his husband' was no exception to that rule. He tended to push himself.

With a small sigh Yozak resolved to watch his mate for even the smallest sign of distress. "If you want me to stop, just ask." That said he gently parted the other man's cheeks and ran his lubed index finger carefully across the ring of muscle that guarded Conrad's entrance.

His mate's breathing hitched slightly but he didn't flinch so he gently began to apply pressure, moving in slow circles until he'd worked the very tip of his finger into his mate's body.

Conrad was tight, very tight.

Idly he wondered how much of that tightness was natural and how much of it was fear.

Conrad had always been tight, no matter how many times he'd made love to him since their first time together Conrad had always been virgin tight. This however was ridiculous.

Slowly, gently, he worked the digit further into Conrad's body. Gently he bent his finger, to stretch his lover's tight passage. After a minute he reached around and began to gently stroke Conrad's failing erection back to life in time with the gentle thrusts of his finger.

Conrad moaned and arched beneath his hand, uttering the small hardly audible yip, that told him he'd found the other man's prostrate. He shifted a bit angling his finger so that he hit that spot repeatedly. Slowly he inserted his middle finger, gently thrusting both fingers in and out of Conrad's body in time with the strokes of his left hand on Conrad's weeping cock. After a moment he began to scissor his fingers, further stretching his tight passage.

Conrart was slowly relaxing. They'd done this many many times before and he trusted Yozak with his life and his body so he simply reminded himself to relax and enjoyed the sensations Yozak's talented fingers – both in him and on him – were stirring in his body. He hissed a bit in pain as Yozak added a third finger. Yozak paused briefly, "Just relax; you're doing just fine, love. You're safe, I promise."

He closed his eyes briefly and concentrated on relaxing. It took him a moment to relax, but he soon did. A few minutes later, Yozak withdrew his fingers, and gently urged him to turn back over. Conrad lay on his back, and gazed up into his Mate's beautiful flame blue eyes. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he spread his legs and bent his knees. There was love and lust in Yozak's bright blue eyes as the man settled himself between his legs.

Slowly so that he gave Conrart a good view of what he was doing and to give the man time to back out should he choose to, Yozak picked up the previously discarded jar of lubricant and began to coat his own achingly hard member. After a moment he capped the jar and set it aside.

Yozak leaned over him and gently claimed his lips with his own, when he sat back up he carefully pulled Conrad's legs up over his shoulders. Conrad didn't take his eyes from his mate's when the other man took himself in hand and began to gently enter him.

Yozak entered him slowly inserting only the head of his cock before stopping to allow Conrad to adjust. He waited, whispering words of love and gently stroking Conrad's hips while he waited. Slowly inch by inch he slid all 8 inches of himself into Conrad's body, gently stroking the other man's cock. Yozak held still after sheathing himself completely, enjoying the feeling of his member sheathed within the tight, hot, passage into Conrart's body, and the look in those warm brown eyes as the man gazed up at him.

Finally feeling Conrart's muscles relax a bit around his throbbing member, he drew out slightly, and gently pushed back in. Conrart gasping pushed back against him. Slowly but surely the two of them began to build up speed and set their pace. Yozak shifted his angle as he thrust repeatedly into Conrad's body, searching for that one spot he knew would leave Conrart gasping for breath and seeing stars. Conrad was making the little noise he loved in time with each thrust. The noise was part gasp of pleasure, part wanton cry and moan of desire. Conrad Yelped as he brushed that one spot bucking his hips back against him wildly.

As usual Yozak gently pinned his hips to keep the other man from hurting himself. He held the other man gently, until the almost compulsive bucking stopped. When Conrart stilled, gasping for breath, Yozak began to thrust into him again angling each thrust so that he brushed Conrad's prostrate. Conrad moaned in delight, lifting his hips in time with Yozak's powerful but oddly gentle thrusts.

"Yozak," Conrad gasped, "more please more."

Yozak obliged him pulling more of himself out with every thrust and picking up the speed of his thrusts. Yozak's hips and balls slapped against his ass as he drove himself deeper into Conrart's willing body. Conrad was meeting his every thrust with one of his own and repeating Yozak's name over and over again- Interjecting small gasps, moans and the occasional whimper.

"Harder, please harder – make me yours again. Please, please more, Yozak, more. Don't stop; please don't stop, more please more."

Yozak smiled at Conrart's lose of control, and thrust more firmly into the other man's body. "Conrart," he gasped repeating his mate's name like a mantra. He could feel his orgasm building up in his body and from the way Conrad's body was reacting, his muscles clenching around his throbbing member, Yozak knew the smaller man was close. He sped up his strokes on Conrart's cock, timing them to match his thrusts.

Conrad screamed in pleasure bucking against him erratically as he climaxed his come landing on his stomach. He went limp as Yozak thrust wildly into him, his orgasm pulled from him by the feeling of Conrad's tight passage clenching around his cock. With one last thrust Yozak came spilling his seed deeply into Conrart's body.

It took every ounce of his strength not to collapse on top of Conrart, completely spent. He braced himself on his elbows and gasped for breath feeling Conrad shuddering under him as they both came down from their mutual high. Carefully Yozak pulled himself free of his mate's body and curled up beside him whispering words of love into the other man's ear, as he gently urged Conrad to rearrange himself so that his back rested against his chest.

"I love you." Conrad whispered, cuddling up against him. Yozak smiled down at his mate as the smaller man shifted around in his arms so that his head rested lightly on his shoulder. "I love you too, Conrad," he replied gently wrapping his arms around his mate. "Get some sleep."

Conrart yawned and buried his nose in his chest, bringing one hand up he gently ran his hand through the downy soft coppery curls dusting Yozak's pecs. "Thank you," he whispered before he fell asleep, "thank you for making me whole again.

~~~***~~~

A.N

Sorry this took so long


	14. Chapter 14

Yozak yawned as he rejoined the land of the living and smiled at the sight of his mate. Conrart was sound asleep – half on top of him – their legs tangled together. They'd made love three times over the course of the night. To be completely honest when Conrad had informed him of his desire, he'd been so happy that Conrad had even gotten to the point that he was willing to make an attempt at intimacy that he didn't think he would have cared if his mate hadn't been able to go through with it. So when Conrad had in fact gone through with it he'd been elated. Afterwards he'd gently suggested that his emotionally exhausted mate get some sleep and had been content to simply watch the smaller man in his arms sleep. So when Conrart had awoken from his nap less then two hours later, and asked if he'd be interested in making love again he'd been startled. Happy but defiantly surprised.

They'd made love again, but things had changed, the hesitance of earlier was gone, as was the fear in Conrad's. Now all he saw in Conrad's beautiful brown eyes was love, trust and bit of lust.

He was pulled gently from his thoughts as Conrad shifted against him. The man was beautiful. Gently he carded a hand through slightly shaggy brown hair. The smaller man leaned into his touch curling up tighter against his body, not stirring from his sleep. Loathed as he was to wake his mate, he had to; they were due at breakfast in less than an hour.

"Come on honey," he said quietly, shaking Conrart's shoulder. "It's time to wake up."

Conrad yawned and slowly climbed up out of the depths of sleep. "Not done yet?" he enquired sleepily.

Yozak couldn't help smiling at that.

When they were younger he'd once whined at Conrart that he wasn't done yet, after they'd gone a couple of rounds and Conrad at least had been ready to sleep rather than engage in 'physical relations'. Ever since then Conrart had jokingly asked him 'not done yet?' rather than asking if he wanted to 'go again'.

"If you want we could probably manage a quickie, but we have to get ready for breakfast, and then we have to pick up Ysolde." He replied gently.

Conrart cocked his head to the side and watched him silently for a moment. "I want." He said after a second.

Yozak moved slowly, gently pinning his mate to the bed, his member erect and quivering for attention the moment Conrart had replied in the affirmative. "Well then, I'll have to do my best to oblige you, wont i?" he replied as he gently rolled Conrart under him.

~~~***~~~

When they did finally make it to the dining room for breakfast, they were the last to arrive. Yozak smiled at the sight of his daughter securely held in his mother-in law's arms. He pulled out the chair for Conrart noting the man's slight winch as he settled himself into the chair – perhaps they shouldn't have gone that extra round between getting ready for breakfast and actually arriving, but they were both very, very glad to finally be able to physically enjoy each other again. Gently pushing the chair in he kissed his mate on the cheek before turning his attention to Lady Cecilia, and his own daughter. Smiling he walked over to his mother in law and lifted his small daughter out of her arms. Ysolde greeted him by attempting to suckle on the hem of his shirt laughing he stooped down and picked up the bag resting at Conrad's mother's feet and made his way back over to his mate – doing his best to ignore lady Cecilia's "I take It last night was a success".

Shaking his head he settled his daughter into his now blushing mate's arms and dug her blanket out of the pack, gently he draped it around Conrad's shoulders. Leaning in he quietly whispered, "I think she needs to be fed, honey."

Conrart offered him a small smile, shifting around quietly he pulled the blanket closer around his shoulders and after making sure the small child could enjoy her meal in privacy he began to feed her. That done he began to feed himself, smiling gently Yozak settled himself down with the rest of his family and applied himself to his own breakfast.

~~~***~~~

Conrart chatted quietly with Issy as they two of them watched their children. Ysolde was sitting up in his lap happily passing a small ball from one hand to the other while Fin was currently attempting to push himself up on his small arms. He smiled down at his baby girl now 10 months old she was the human equivalent of a 5 month old. They were all enjoying an afternoon outdoors in the warm sunlight. He'd noticed a few changes in his baby of late, changes that his mother assured him were perfectly normal. Ysolde had recently developed a fear of strangers though she'd marked each and every member of her family including Aster. But she was weary of the palace staff to the point of mistrust. His mother assured him she would calm down soon, but still he supposed it was a good thing.

He paused mid-sentence and put a hand over his mouth as a wave of nausea washed over him. He'd been a bit tired of late but he wrote it off as having an infant in his life, but this was new. Oh well he'd mention it to Gisela, when he went to see her for Ysolde's check up later this afternoon. "Excuse me," he said mildly after the nausea had passed.

"Are you alright, Conrart?" Isabella asked quietly. "You don't look to good."

He smiled and quickly reassured her that he was indeed fine, just coping with inadequate amounts of sleep. After a few minutes of his sister in law's fussing he gently reminded her that he was no longer a boy, and promised to talk with Gisela latter that afternoon. Honestly he didn't find her fussing annoying he was well aware of the fact that he wouldn't have survived being pregnant with his baby girl without the support of his family.

That and - much as he hated to admit it - Isabella had known him when he was just a small boy. Her family had spent almost a year at the palace when he was only 7. Ironically she and Gwendal actually hadn't gotten along at all. So it had come as a rather large surprise when he'd returned home after a journey to Caloria almost four and a half years ago and discovered that the woman was going to marry his elder brother with all haste.

She admonished him to make sure that he did tell Gisela of his symptoms, or else she would. Laughing at the very real threat he promised her that he would, and quickly changed the topic.

~~~***~~~

Conrart smiled as he sat quietly atop one of Gisela's examination tables, cradling his 10 month old baby in his arms. Ysolde bore Gisela's exam without so much as a squeal of protest. She was growing so big so fast, he couldn't wait to see everything she would one day become – yet at the same time he didn't want this beautiful time in her life to end.

"She's in perfect health, Conrart." Gisela told him mildly a soft smile gracing her lips. "everything seems to be coming along right on time. Do you have any questions, concerns?"

Conrart smiled at his friend, and felt a slight blush gracing his cheeks, it was true Gisela had delivered Ysolde, but still some questions where just embarrassing. "Actually I do have one, but it's sort of embarrassing."

"Alright."

He sighed and glanced down at his little girl. "I – well, how long - I mean when will she no longer need to be breast fed?"

Gisela blinked. "Oh, Mazoku breastfeed for 3-5 years; you can start weaning her when she's about 3.5 though. Anything else?"

Conrart paused briefly to digest that little tidbit of information Great One no wonder the reproductive system shut down for 7 years after a child was born! He offered he a small smile, "is it safe to breast feed her if I think I may be coming down with something?"

Gisela looked at him then, "are you feeling alright, or is this a hypothetical question?"

He sighed, "Actually I've been feeling a little off lately."

"How so?" Gisela asked gently lifting his daughter out of his arms.

He watched her carry his daughter over to a small cradle like bed a bit away from them even as he answered. "Mostly I'm just tired, but I wrote that off as the fact that I have an infant. This afternoon however, I – I started to feel a bit nauseous."

Gisela sighed, "Anything else? Even if you think you have an explanation for it, it could be important."

He flushed but answered her question anyway. "My breasts hurt, but that's just because I usually have a baby attached to one or the other of them. Right?"

Gisela inclined her head, "that's one possibility. Are you feeling dizzy at all?"

"no"

"Okay. Conrart, have you and Yozak been able to be intimate again?" she asked quietly.

"Yes but what does that have to do with anything? I can't get pregnant for another 7 years right?" he replied calmly.

Gisela offered him a small smile, "actually there is a 6month window of opportunity before your body shuts down reproductively, when the chances of you getting pregnant are actually higher thanks to hormone levels."

"So you're saying I might actually be pregnant again?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Gisela replied calmly. "I'll have to examine you to rule out the possibility. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to strip and lay down."

Meekly Conrart did as he was told.

~~~***~~~

Conrart took a deep breath as he left Gisela's office, with Ysolde in his arms. Today was the annual meeting of the military heads. Which meant that Yozak (who was filling in for him as head of the Calvary) would be in Gwendal's office with the rest of the military heads. For a moment he bulked at the thought of interrupting such an important meeting – but he really needed to speak with his mate. He supposed it could wait until Yozak came home before dinner but it was important.

Sighing he made his decision and set out for Gwendal's office and Yozak.

~~~***~~~

Commander Markus glanced at the gathered men in front of him. He admitted he'd been rather startled when he'd arrived at the annual meeting this morning and Found Lt. Gurrier occupying Lord Weller's usual seat. He supposed the man must be sick since his second in command was currently filling in for him. He was worried though, Conrart had once appeared at the meeting with a rather bad cold, so whatever had kept the young officer from attending – it had to be bad.

Lord Von Voltaire was Shin Makoku's Lord Marshal, and as such sat directly behind his massive desk. to his left Sat Commander Grevis, the head of the foot soldiers. Markus, as head of the Navy sat beside him, next to Yozak.

They all looked up at the sound of a soft knock on the door.

Gwendal raised an eyebrow but called for their visitor to enter. They were all treated to a rather unusual sight – lord Weller, clad in silk, civilian clothing.

"Conrart?" Gwendal asked calmly "brother, are you well?"

Markus cut Conrart off before the man could answer; he'd been a teacher at the Shin Makoku Military Academy. He was also lucky enough to count the young prince as a friend. "when you failed to show up I feared you where ill my lord." He said with mild humor, noting the small child in the man's arms. "Now I see you've simply decided to get started on a litter of your own."

Conrart snorted at the inside joke; when they'd first met he'd informed the young prince of the fact that he was younger than his youngest and as such not to sass him. Conrart who'd been standing quietly beside his desk had enquired after how many children he had. Jokingly he'd informed the boy he had a litter of about 12.

Later he'd learned that Conrad wanted children.

"Speaking of my own litter, May I borrow my mate for a few minutes?" Conrart replied lightly.

~~~***~~~

Yozak had risen to his feet at the sight of his mate, and had calmly made his way over to Conrart's side. After Conrart asked to speak with him he carefully steered the man over to one side of the room away from the other men currently occupying the room. He had to admit he was worried. Conrart looked nervous.

After a moment the smaller man shifted their child into a more comfortable position and spoke. "while we were at the hunting cabin you mentioned that you wanted three or four children. Do you still feel that way?"

Yozak smiled and gently rubbed his mates arm to calm him, "of course I do, but honey we have seven years to plan for more children, why don't we talk about this tonight?"

"Gisela just told me there's a six month gap between child birth and when my reproductive system would have shut down." Conrart replied quietly.

Yozak blinked, "honey, we're a bit past that point and even if we weren't there's nothing we can do to take advantage of that window of opportunity right this second."

Conrart shifted his weight and raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Yozak to be this obtuse. "We already – however unwittingly – took advantage of the situation."

"Are you pregnant?" Yozak inquired after taking a second to digest his mate's words.

Conrart nodded, before asking quietly "Are you mad?"

Yozak smiled at him "How could I be?" he asked quietly, then gently added; "if I'd known I could have gotten you pregnant I would have taken more care to ensure it didn't happen." He put his finger to Conrart's lips to keep him from interrupting. "simply because I wouldn't have wanted to put you through the physical strain of pregnancy so soon after you giving me a daughter. However what happens, happens, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't overjoyed at the prospect of having another child with you. But I'm also worried about your health, your last pregnancy was a very difficult one and while I understand that most of that had to do with how Ysolde was conceived. I'm also a little worried that our nightly activities may not have been good for the little one and curious as to why it took you nearly 4 months to realize you were with child, but I'm not mad at all. However I do want you to go lie down until I get home. Can you do that for me?"

Conrart, inclined his head, "If it will make you feel better I'll go put Ysolde down for her nap and take one myself. I'll see you when you get home."

"I love you" Yozak said simply. Reaching out he pulled his mate into his arms, and kissed the top of his head. He held the man for a moment before gently kissing their daughter on the head.

He watched quietly as his mate walked away, noting the soft sway of his hips. Smiling he turned and went back to the meeting.

"Everything alright Yozak?" Gwendal asked as he joined them at the desk.

He smiled, "Conrart just found out he's pregnant." He replied calmly.

~~~***~~~

AN.

sorry this took so long, finals. anyway not completly happy with this chap but its the best i can do right now. So read and review, give my muse a kick in the ppants or a cup of joe please.


	15. Chapter 15

Gisela glanced up at the knock on her door. "Ah Yozak, come in I was wondering when you'd show up."

"You've been expecting me?" Yozak asked curiously.

Gisela smiled at him, "I just told your mate that he's pregnant again after having given birth to your first child almost exactly 10 months ago. That and you were extremely attentive to Conrart's needs during his last pregnancy, even before the two of you married. Frankly, I would have been more surprised if you hadn't shown up." She gestured towards one of the chairs in front of her desk. "So what can I help you with Yozak?"

Yozak settled himself down onto one of the oddly comfortable chairs and considered which question to ask first. Last time he'd been to busy being utterly astonished by the horror of what had happened to his mate to ask all of the questions swirling around in his head so he'd focused on ways to help his mate through his ordeal. "Is the baby healthy?" He asked after a second.

"As far as I can tell the little one is very healthy." Gisela replied calmly.

Yozak ran his hand through his hair, he was honestly a bit embarrassed by his next question but it had to be asked. He had to be sure had to know the answer one way or another. "The first night Conrad and I spent together… well frankly it was the only night when the child could have been conceived. We um, well we made love more than once that night and a few more times the following morning. That's not going to lead to a difficult pregnancy, will it?"

Gisela blinked, startled by the question, but she supposed it made sense, in some ways. Conrart had made her repeat the test twice before he'd believed it. Also he'd needed reassurance that the child was healthy – she'd assumed at the time that it had simply been due to the unlikelihood of Mazoku children being conceived that close together, but this made sense too. Yozak had faced several angry healers during his travel with Conrart during his last pregnancy. No doubt Conrart had overheard the dangers of forcing a conception.

"Were you gentle with him?" She asked mildly.

"Of course." Came the immediate reply.

"When you took him, where you thinking of his needs, or simply satisfying your own?"

Yozak colored, "the first time I was only paying attention to his needs. He was scared, even if he didn't want to admit it. After that I saw to both of our needs equally."

"Did you force him to take you without preparation or to have intercourse more often then he wanted to?" Was the next rather shocking question.

Yozak sputtered; truthfully the idea of taking his mate roughly appalled him. Sex should never be about pain. "I've never been into that sort of thing." He said after taking a moment to step on his initial reaction to her inquiry. "I would never force Conrart into anything he didn't want, and I would rather die than cause him pain."

Gisela offered him a gentle smile. "I didn't think so," she replied mildly. "In that case, no, I don't see how you two going at it like rabbits the night the child was conceived would harm the child. If anything it might have helped actually, just like with a woman Conrart's not able to conceive anytime the two of you couple, he has a cycle of fertility – and every time you were with him that night you left not only your seed but the energy and love Conrart needed to help him with the child."

Yozak nodded relieved. "In the book I read during his last pregnancy it mentions that intercourse after conception is prohibited. We've been active since – that won't hurt the baby will it?"

"The child is fine, I would recommend suspending intimate relations until after the child is born from here on, but no it's early enough that it shouldn't have hurt the child." She replied mildly, watching Yozak breathe a sigh of relief.

"I know that a lot of how bad the last pregnancy was had to do with that _piece of shit and what he did to my mate_, but I'm worried will Conrart have a difficult pregnancy this time? Is he healthy enough to carry this child to term without it being detrimental to his health?" Yozak asked after a minute.

For a minute Gisela just looked at him as she considered her answer. "Yozak," she said gently. "You've found yourself in a position not many men are ever in, not only is your mate giving you another child before your first one is even going to begin the weaning process, but you've just spent a great deal of time and energy putting your broken mate back together. Conrart will be fine he's strong and healthy. This time around won't be nearly as difficult or anywhere near as dangerous."

She watched quietly as Yozak visibly relaxed. "Any other questions?"

"Just one," Yozak replied before asking. "Why did it take Conrad this long to start feeling the symptoms of his pregnancy?"

Gisela couldn't help it, she laughed. "Yozak, Conrart is not late in discovering this pregnancy, the symptoms of his pregnancy just hit astoundingly early last time. Unfortunately it is very, very common in cases of rape. From what I can tell he's right on schedule with this pregnancy. Go home Yozak, you already know everything you can do to help your mate."

Yozak smiled, "thank you Gisela." He said as he turned and left the room.

"Oh, and Yozak, try not to coddle Conrart too much this time," Gisela said with a laugh. "He's not likely to put up with it this time."

~~~***~~~

Yozak smiled as he closed the door to his bedroom, he expected to find his mate humoring his by lying down so he had to smile at the truly cute sight of his mate asleep on the bed, his shirt open with their little girl lying on his chest quietly suckling. Conrart must have fallen asleep while nursing her. Smiling at the precious sight he settled himself down on the foot of the bed and waited. When Ysolde finally finished suckling, he gently picked her up and placing a rag across his shoulder he deftly burped her, before shifting her in his arms and beginning to sing softly.

Watching his daughter as her beautiful purple eyes drifted closed.

~~~***~~~

Conrad awoke to the feeling of Yozak lifting Ysolde off of his chest. He honestly hadn't expected to fall asleep but apparently he had. Quietly he watched Yozak with their daughter, pretending to sleep. Yozak was a good father, he doted on Ysolde, treating her like his own. Conrart couldn't help wondering though.

Would it last?

He'd always known that Yozak loved his daughter. Had always known that it would be 7 years at least before he could give Yozak another child; it was ample time for the bond between father and daughter to solidify. But now – now he would be giving Yozak another child hard on the heels of bringing Ysolde into the world.

Would Yozak's affection for the child survive the birth of their first child?

He wanted to believe it would – but as he watched his mate settle their child down into her bed he couldn't help wondering.

He went limp pretending to be asleep, when Yozak settled himself back down onto the bed.

For a moment he thought he'd fooled his mate, however Yozak soon put a stop to his façade by asking him a question.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he asked gently.

Conrad sighed, and sat up. Slowly, carefully choosing each word he explained his fears to his mate.

Yozak's response was to slip behind Conrad and gently place his hand on his still flat belly; and beginning to gently reassure him that it wouldn't happen.

That Ysolde was his precious gift, despite the fact that Aisen had sired her.

~~~***~~~

Conrart settled himself down into his chair at the dinner table, and glanced over at his mate. Yozak was sitting in his own chair their sleeping little girl cradled in his arms. The made idle talk as they waited for their food to be served. Tonight's dinner was a thick elk stake and assorted vegetables, he chuckled at the look on Yozak's face at the sight of their dinner, and deftly lifted Ysolde out of the man's arms. Embarrassing as it was he passed his plate to his mate and asked him to cut the meat for him so that he could feed their now awake and fussing daughter while he ate.

Yozak deftly cut his stake before setting the plate down in front of him again. Conrart offered him a small smile and arranged his daughter so that she could nurse in private. Shifting himself around so that he could eat while she did, he applied himself to his own meal. Although he couldn't help smiling as Gwendal preformed the same service of meat cutting for Issy who was cradling little Fin as she ate.

Once they'd all finished their meals he gently taped the side of his glass with his spork, to gather the attention of his family.

All conversation ceased as Yozak rose to his feet, "I just wanted to let the rest of the family know that there will soon be another baby in the family." Yozak said softly, a soft smile gracing his lips. "Conrart will be giving me another child in just under 14 months."

"You're pregnant again?!" Yuri yelped in surprise, then yelped in pain as his now 15 year old daughter stepped on his foot under the table.

Yozak snickered.

Lady Cecilia tuned and looked at him quietly, "My little Conrart is pregnant, again?" She asked after a second. When Conrart nodded she rose to her feet and gently took him into her arms. "I'm so happy for you both."

Conrart smile and careful of the now sleeping child in his arms he gave his mother a one armed hug. This time things were different, the last time he'd announced he was pregnant he'd been terrified and his announcement had been met with initial hostility. Although he'd known that wouldn't be the case this time he'd still feared it.

Glancing around the room he drank in the smiling faces of his family and relaxed. He noted the sad look in Wolfram's eyes despite his little brother's smile, and resolved to have a talk with the young man as soon as he had a chance.

~~~***~~~

Yozak balanced Ysolde on his hip, as he walked down the hall with Conrad at his side. He had one arm slung across Conrad's waist, his hand resting lightly on the other man's hip. The smaller man was nestled against his side as they walked.

Conrart smiled at him, "do you have a name in mind for your son?" he asked after a minute.

Yozak paused and looked at his mate for a moment. After a minute he asked. "Are you sure it's a boy?"

Conrart smile widened, "as sure as I was last time."

Yozak pulled him closer in a one armed hug, "I'll give it some thought." He said gently pressing a kiss into his mate's hair.

~~~***~~~

Conrart leaned back into the soft cushions of the large window seat in his chambers, gazing out at the moon garden as he listened to the soft sounds of Yozak putting their child down for bed. Ysolde was currently cradled in her father's arms, as he carefully danced about the nursery, softly singing to the child about dreams, and wishes coming true. Conrart couldn't help smiling for all Yozak hadn't sired her, he truly was the girl's father in every sense of the word.

The man had been there for him during the trials and tribulations of pregnancy; he'd cared for them both and even adopted her. Since her birth Yozak had been a part of everything. He'd sat up with them both when she just wouldn't sleep, had held her in his arms and rocked her gently doing his best to sooth her when she'd had colic, or a cold.

So just knowing that Yozak was calmly putting the small child to bed was heartwarming.

Movement in the garden caught his attention drawing him out of his thoughts.

Wolfram was walking quietly through the garden, looking oddly small and lost among the softly unfurling white flowers. With a sigh Conrad rose to his feet, he needed to talk to his little brother and it may as well be now. Quietly he made his way into the nursery and let his mate know where he was going before he slipped off.

~~~***~~~

Wolfram sighed as he looked at his older brother – it wasn't that he wasn't happy for the man.

He was.

Just he was also very jealous. Conrad was pregnant with his mate's child, and the man was positively glowing! It was his second child, and Yozak was so doting, so loving and gentle with Conrad. It was clear the two were happy together. He wanted that for himself and for Yuri. He wanted a child of his own.

It was true he and Yuri had Greta, but it wasn't the same as what Conrad and Yozak or Gwendal and Issy had. Gwendal had been able to see his child growing inside of ISSY's body. Yozak was getting that luxury now with the child that Conrart was currently carrying. Both men had the gift of seeing their mate growing heavy with their child and had known that their love had created that child!

He wanted that for himself and Yuri, but after 2 years of marriage they had yet to get pregnant.

After a moment's hesitation he carefully relayed his feelings to his elder brother. Conrad listened quietly as they walked, both of them enjoying the night air. After a minute of silence Conrart sighed. "It takes time for males to get pregnant Wolfram, give yourself that time and you and Yuri will be up for your own 4am feedings and dipper duties."

"You got pregnant rather quickly! And so did Issy!" Wolfram replied sullenly.

"While it is true that Issy got pregnant rather quickly after her marriage to Gwendal, I feel compelled to remind you that Isabella is a woman and thus her body has been primed and ready for pregnancy since she hit puberty, where as in you and I the organs that allow for child birth were dormant until after we decide which role we play in a relationship, will we marry a woman and be a father, or another man. If so will we be the man or the woman in the relationship. I was lucky, I fell in love with a good man who's opinion of me didn't change despite what Aisen did. I know you're frustrated, but give it time a pregnancy will happen in its own time." He laughed. "Particularly if the child is yours. If I remember correctly you scared mother and you're father half to death, by being several weeks late coming into this world. Everything happens in the child's time when you're pregnant, cultivate a little patience Wolfram, and give it time. One day you'll hold your own baby in your arms."

They talked for a while longer, walking together through the garden and ignoring the bats that came to pollinate and feed from the night blooming flowers. They chatted quietly as brothers, talking about everything and nothing simply enjoying each other's company.

Wolfram blinked when Conrart stifled a yawn. "Brother, it is getting late." He said gently, well aware of Conrart's stubborn streak. "And you at least are with child and have a little one at home in your chambers. You should get what sleep you can."

Conrart snorted, "when did my little brother grow up to become my mother?" He asked in a slightly sardonic tone of voice. "Never the less, I think I will seek my bed, and my mate's warm embrace. Good night little brother, do not stay out to long, else my godson may start to worry."

~~~***~~~

_Yozak looked around the clearing he'd found himself in. he'd been here many, many times before. This clearing, shrouded in fog as it was, despite the sun shimmering of the still waters of a small but beautiful lake; was the little clearing about an hour's ride outside of the capital. It was his and Conrad's special place. A place they'd discovered together as children and had used as a trysting spot since shortly after they'd become a couple. Although he had to admit this was the first time he'd seen the place while wearing nothing more than his sleeping pants._

_But how did he get here? The last thing he remembered he'd been curled up in bed with his mate, one hand resting on the other man's still flat stomach. The mystery alone put him on alert, so he was understandably startled by the sound of somebody calling his name. He spun around, hand automatically reaching for a sword he wasn't wearing._

_A woman stood before him, cradling a small child in her arms._

_A very familiar woman._

_She was in her prime, and had ash-blond hair that was closer to a very light brown, and blue eyes._

_His blue eyes!_

_He felt his jaw drop despite himself. "Mother?" he gasped. The last time he'd seen his mother, she'd been past her prime, malnourished, weathered and suffering from the backbreaking labor they'd been forced to endure on little to no food._

_The woman standing before him – he barely recognized, and only from a memory of her when he was very, very young, no older than 5 actually._

"_Yes honey," she said softly, "It's me."_

_He blinked, "why am I here?" He asked after a minute of silence. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see his mother, because he was. He just wasn't ready to join her in death – and that was the only reason he could think of to explain his standing in the presence of a woman who'd been dead for more then a century. He had a mate and a baby at home, and another child on the way. He couldn't die – his mate needed him._

_She smiled at him, and held out the child in her arms. Almost instinctively he reached out and took the child from her, supporting his little head deftly. _

_To say he was stunned by the child he held in his arms was an understatement. The boy looked up at him out of purple eyes that were identical to Ysolde's. But that was where the resemblance to his little girl ended. While Ysolde was Conrart come again, the child in his arms was Aisen's exact copy. It took him a moment to wrap his head around, and he felt a tear slide down his cheek to land on the little fellow as he asked quietly. "This is the child my mate lost?"_

"_Yes dear, he is the child lost through his father's stupidity and obsession. The twin of your own little girl." Ysolde replied calmly. "I have watched over him these past months. My son I am quite proud of you, you have grown into a better man then I had ever hoped for." _

_Yozak closed his eyes, "thank you for watching over my little boy." Yozak replied calmly, "but why have you been? It is not your responsibility."_

_His mother smiled, "look again at the child in your arms and you will see why."_

_Utterly bewildered he glanced down at the child in his arms and gaped in surprise. The boy's hair had darkened so that it almost matched Conrart's in color, though the highlight's were his own flame orange and red. It was the boy's eyes that held his attention, despite all the other minor changes – they had lightened to his own ice blue. _

_For a moment he gaped at the boy, before movement behind him caught his attention. He turned to face the new threat, quickly but carefully. Mindful of the infant in his arms. Only to find himself face to face with –_

_- Himself!_

_For a moment he was shattered, before years of training as a spy kicked in and he noticed the subtle differences._

_Most noticeably the man's purple eyes._

"_Ian," Ysolde said lightly, "meet your son."_

_Yozak blinked and inclined his head politely. "Hello father." _

_The man offered him a cheeky grin, "Gurrier, is it – well at least it suits."_

_Yozak snorted, "I could hardly use you surname, now could I? you died before I was old enough to remember it."_

_The man gaped at him for a moment._

"_I told you your son was an imp." Said a new voice._

_He recognized both the man and the voice, how could he not when Conrart was a slightly more delicate version of his father? The man had had too much an impact on his life for him to not recognize him. Besides there was a rather large portrait of the man in Lady Cecilia's chambers, that he'd seen at least a hundred times since his wedding. _

"_Lord Weller," he said inclining his head respectfully. _

_The man laughed, "If I'm not mistaken, young Yozak, the honorific is no longer mine."_

"_You will always be Lord Weller to me, Dan Hiri." He retorted cheekily._

_The man smiled, "I owe you a debt Yozak. Thank you, for your loyalty to my son."_

_He would have replied but something startled him. Looking down at the child in his arms he saw the boy shrink until all that was left of him was a small glowing ball of blue light. _

_His soul he realized._

_~~~***~~~_

Yozak sat up sharply in bed, dazed and confused. He glanced around trying to find the source of the strange blue light. It only took him a second to locate. The source was in the form of an oddly familiar ball of blue light. Currently it was hovering over his mate's stomach. As he watched the little thing sank into his mate's stomach, the dim glow fading with it. For a moment he was too stunned to move, then he smiled, remembering the Great One's words about both children being meant to be his, before Aisen assaulted his mate. Carefully he leaned over and kissed Conrart's bare stomach.

"Welcome home little one." He whispered. "Grow up big and strong this time; my son, my precious baby boy."

Lowering himself back to the bed he carefully cradled his sleeping mate into his arms, and went back to sleep.

~~~***~~~

Okay another chapter done. Sorry it took so long but my computer has crashed twice since I last posted and the last one took the entire story with it! I had to start over from scratch. Please read and review. Give my muse a cup of joe, and give me some ideas as to what you actually want to see out of this pregnancy.


	16. Chapter 16

Yozak smiled at his mate, as the smaller man leaned against him, their now 16-month-old daughter resting in his arms. One hand rested lightly on the now distinctive bulge of his mate's stomach. Just another 6 months and their second child would be in their arms. Carefully he ran his fingers through his daughter's soft hair, and kissed Conrart's cheek. They were waiting for Gisela. The healer had been giving their child regular physicals every couple of months, since she'd been born.

It was simply procedure when a child was born as prematurely as their daughter had been. So far she hadn't found anything to suggest developmental problems. Personally, he was just happy they had a happy healthy little girl.

Today's physical was as much for Conrart, and the child growing in his womb, as for little Ysolde.

Conrart was heavily pregnant and fairly tired, but nowhere near as exhausted as he had been during his first pregnancy. This time the man was more active, more alert. He still had pregnancy symptoms.

However, he was nowhere near as hard to deal with as he had been.

~~~***~~~

Gisela couldn't help smiling when she walked into Conrart and Yozak's quarters. Conrart lay reclined against Yozak's chest, his eyes closed. Although she could tell he was still awake by the careful way he cradled Ysolde in his arms. The small child was squirming in his arms, and playing with the green velvet, rattling, ball that Yozak had originally bought for her before he and Conrart had even gotten married.

Conrart opened his eyes and inclined his head in greeting as she approached.

Ysolde was less than happy to see her. The small child looked up at her out of startlingly purple eyes and said 'no' before attempting to hide in Conrart's chest.

She smiled, that was a perfectly normal response.

Gisela settled herself down on the edge of the bed and gently began her examination of the little girl, after a few minutes of Ysolde squirming and kicking she backed off and calmly asked Conrart to hand the baby over to her father. The man was heavily pregnant and his daughter's flailing feet, where in danger of striking his swollen belly.

Yozak gladly took his daughter into his arms, to happy squeals of 'pa-pa, pa-pa', and held her while Gisela examined the squirming child. "Is she still waking you up for 3 am feedings?" she asked calmly.

Conrart yawned, and quietly gave her an affirmative response.

"Okay, I want you to reduce the amount you allow her to eat when she wakes you at three, slowly until you wean her off of that particular feeding time, she should be sleeping through the night without waking you, unless she has a nightmare within the next two months.

At length she finished her examination of little Ysolde. "She's in great health." She told the proud parents quietly.

She spent a few minutes talking to Conrart and Yozak, answering questions and reassuring them that Ysolde had suffered no ill effects from being born a month prematurely. Then she turned her attention to Conrart, she offered him a small smile, "how are you feeling?" she asked.

He smiled, "I'm alright, eating weird things, and a little bit tied but other than that I'm fine."

She nodded, "alright then, you know the drill, strip and lay down."

Conrart grumbled but did as she asked, stripping out of his robe, and laying back down against the pillows, he pulled a thin blanket across his hips to cover himself. She allowed him that small measure of modesty, and began her examination, gently prodding his belly.

She finished up her examination, assuring both Conrart and Yozak that their unborn child was in good health and growing as expected.

~~~***~~~~

Yozak Gurrier froze as he entered his bedroom, after spending the day dealing with a few of his less then intelligent cadets. Honestly how that idiot Jerad had managed to stampeded the Warhorses, was beyond him! However the sight of his now 15 months pregnant mate sitting in the middle of their bed, surrounded by Pocky wrappers and shaking one of the empty boxes in a vain attempt to get more – was truly hilarious.

He stepped on the urge to laugh at the sight. "Conrart?" he asked quietly.

Conrart gave him the most pathetic look he'd seen in a very long time. "I'm out of Pocky." He said sadly.

Yozak, trying desperately not to laugh, walked into their combined offices, and dug through his desk for the pack of Pocky he kept with his emergency sweets. This just proved it – their son had a sweet tooth.

The only thing Conrart really liked in the way of sweets was honey. Yet throughout this pregnancy, he'd been eating sweets and adding honey to everything.

Walking back into the bedroom he handed Conrart the chocolate covered breadsticks, smiling as his mate tore into them in a manner that suggested he hadn't seen food in a week.

~~~***~~~

Conrart smiled at his little brother as he watched his baby girl cruse around the palace gardens, he didn't let her go far beyond the borders of the picnic blanket. Wolfram and he were chatting amiably about parenthood, married life, and the everyday goings on of the nation. He couldn't help noticing the way Wolfram was sitting, with one arm wrapped around his stomach. Idly he wondered if there would soon be another member of his extended family.

For a moment, he considered asking but decided against it.

Wolfram should have the option of keeping that joyous news to himself for a while.

~~~***~~~

Conrart sighed as he gazed down at his food, he wasn't really in the mood for beef stew, but he wasn't going to complain. Not while there were people going hungry in the lower districts of his own nation. He chocked down his own food in between feeding spoonfuls of mashed vegetables to his daughter. He couldn't help noticing that although Wolfram was drinking out of a wine glass, he was drinking juice.

When dinner was almost over and deserts had been passed around, Yuri gently tapped the side of his wine glass with his spork and called for their collective attention.

"Wolfram and I have some important news." Yuri said calmly.

Wolfram smiled up at his husband and took a deep breath before picking up where their king had left off. "I'm pregnant."

Conrart smile at his little brother and gave the happy couple before him his congratulations. The last of their dinner passed as a blur of joyous conversation, and when the last of the food had been cleared away, Yozak gently lifted their sleepy daughter onto his hip and offered Conrart his hand.

Conrart smiled and took his mate's hand; they both bid the rest of their family good night and left to put their mostly asleep child to bed.

~~~***~~~

Conrad took a deep breath, and knocked on Gwendal's office door. He opened the door and slipped inside after Gwendal granted him permission to enter. Despite his earlier decision to speak with his elder sibling, he hesitated just inside the door. What if Gwendal laughed at him or worse, thought he was a horrible person?

Gwendal however had always had an uncanny ability to read him – even when he didn't want to be.

"Conrart," the man asked quietly, "what's wrong?"

Conrart sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "At dinner, when Wolfram announced the fact that he's pregnant, I was happy for him and Yuri -"

"But?" Gwendal asked raising one dark brow.

"I also wanted to kill Yuri, for daring to touch my little brother that way. I mean I knew they were – they're married. However that knowledge was all theoretical, having the evidence of it in my face well-"

To his horror, Gwendal laughed at him.

"Conrart, all I have to say about how you're feeling is welcome to my world. When I found out you were pregnant with Ysolde, I wanted to kill Yozak. After I found out she wasn't Yozak's child, I wanted to skin you. I then noticed your behavior and began to suspect what had happened and I wanted nothing more than to find the bastard who'd hurt you, cut his balls off, grind them to a pulp while he watched and mix them with cyanide before force-feeding them to the man. After you and Yozak married, I was relieved, because you were safe, and happy. However when you announced this pregnancy, I wanted to kill Yozak for getting you pregnant and I share your desire to strangle our king. What you're feeling is completely natural."

Conrart sat on the couch beside his elder brother talking for several hours before he excused himself to go home. Just before he left, he paused and thanked the other man for listening.

~~~***~~~

Yozak awoke in the middle of the night from a nightmare. He'd been seeing Aisen a lot in his nightmares of late. Nightmares where the man who had so badly abused and traumatized his mate, simply appeared one day and made off with his beloved daughter. Glancing over at his mate and knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to sleep until he'd checked on his baby girl.

He'd never told Conrart, what Gwendal had told him about Aisen threatening to kill the child should it be female. Conrad had been rightly convinced that the child would in fact be a girl, and he hadn't wanted to traumatize the barely sleeping man further by alarming him needlessly.

Honestly, he didn't know why Aisen was so dead set on having a boy. If he was honest with himself, he was a bit jealous of the man. If only because he had sired a daughter on his mate, when girl children were so rare in relationships where both parents where male. He'd asked Gisela why once, but she'd only said it was a fact of life. Yuri who'd been in the room at the time had tried to explain it using letters, and a weird boxy looking thing.

Apparently, women had two X chromes in their blood while men had one X and one Y. something about the way the chromes mixed meant the resulting child would be a girl or a boy. None of that mattered. Aisen had given Conrart the one thing he'd always wanted – a little girl. Despite the fact that Aisen would never know Ysolde, never claim her as his own, and despite the fact that for all intents and purposes, Yozak was her father – he was jealous.

He was also a little afraid. What if Ysolde, resented him when she was older because he wasn't her sire?

He shook his head and forced away the ridiculous thought.

Ysolde was his child not, Aisen's, and he would willingly die to protect her.

He slipped into the nursery, and leaned against the side of his child's cradle. Ysolde slept peacefully, oblivious to her father's worry. Smiling he reached down and gently lifted the small child out of the crib. He cradled his child in his arms and walked over to the rocking chair by the window. He settled himself down in the chair's plush warmth wrapping the soft, warm, throw blanket around himself and his baby girl. For now, he was content to watch her sleep and reassure himself that she was here, safe and sound. After a few minutes, he began to sing softly.

Conrart found them like that an hour later.

~~~***~~~

Gwendal shared a look with the rest of his family as they arrived outside of Conrart and Yozak's rooms to find Gisela, and their lady mother waiting outside the closed doors. Lady Cecilia held a sleeping Ysolde in her arms. It was three in the morning and once again, they'd been awaked by the news that Conrart was in labor, although if Gisela's presence outside the rooms was anything to go by, it was already over.

"Gisela?" he asked around a Yawn.

She smiled at him. "A healthy baby boy," she said mildly, "Conrart is resting well."

He nodded.

~~~***~~~

Conrart looked up when the rest of his family made their way into his bedroom. To his surprise, Yozak handed him Ian, and took Ysolde from her grandmother. The man smiled at his family. "Everyone," he said quietly, his voice full of pride. "I would like you to meet the newest member of our family, baby Ian."

It hadn't escaped his notice that, Ian and Ysolde had the exact same birthday – even if they were two years and 45 minutes apart. He was also very aware of the fact that Ian looked like him, but for his flame blue eyes, and the barest touches of Yozak's red highlights in his hair. There was no doubt about it, with Ian and Ysolde so close together in age; it was likely that most people would mistake them for twins.

Conrart smiled down at his children, trying not to gasp as Ian began to suckle. Gisela assured him that the changes in his milk would not harm his daughter, something for which he was profoundly grateful.

As he looked up at his gathered family, he couldn't help hoping that his next child would look more like Yozak. He had to admit, while pregnancy and labor were horrendous pains, he wanted more children.

He would give Yozak the large family the other man wanted. Never the less, Yozak wasn't coming anywhere near him for the next 8 months, just to be safe.

~~~***~~~

Yozak smiled down at his sleeping mate, and the two small children nestled in around him. For now, Ysolde was considerably bigger then Ian, but he knew that would soon change, as their aging began to slow, Ian would catch up to his sister. Over the years, he would surpass her in size, simply by virtue of being a boy.

Quietly, he ushered his extended family out of their rooms so that Conrart, Ysolde and newborn baby Ian could sleep without worry of interruption. Closing the door softly behind Raven and Cecilia (who'd put off their honeymoon until after Cecilia's grandchildren had been born). Smiling softly to himself, he went back to the bedroom and slipped back into bed.

Life was good. He had a loving husband, and two beautiful children, he couldn't ask for more.

~~~***~~~

Wolfram gazed down at his newborn son, with wonder; the boy had Yuri's midnight hair and his Green eyes.

He was perfect.

Absolutely perfect

"What's his name?" Yozak asked calling him back to reality, and to the fact that his family was currently gathered in his bedroom waiting to hear the child's name.

Wolfram looked up at his brother-in- law and smiled at the sight of a sleeping Ysolde, in the other man's arms. He was glad for Conrart and his little family, Yozak was an exemplary father and a devoted husband. As far as the man was concerned, Ysolde was his child, and he treated her no different now that Conrart had given him a child of his own, then he'd had before Ian had been born.

He glanced over at Conrart who was cradling Ian delicately in his arms.

"Kioshi," Wolfram said after a minute. "Yuri named him Kioshi, it means pure."

Conrart smiled at him, "it's a beautiful name."

~~~***~~~

A.N.

Okay so this is the last chapter of Part 2. Stay tuned for part three, when their ideal world shatters. Okay so read and review. It gives my muse a kick in the pants, and right now, she needs either that or a really really big cup of espresso.


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